Hot and Cold
by Sinceslicedbread
Summary: Peace and quiet was all Ianto Jones was looking for; what he found instead was Jack Harkness. Will they be able to co-exist in the workplace or will security have to be called?
1. Chapter 1

HOT and Cold

It had been weeks since his return, but Ianto Jones young, sleek, urbane some would say tainted with a hint of fire, was finding it hard to fit back into his previous role at Torchwood Bio-Research Facilities Cardiff.

He had been away, on a top-secret residential training course the others had been told, (he was uncomfortable with this lie, but knew it was necessary under the present circumstances). He had come back to find that everything had changed and this had unsettled him. Normally Ianto managed change well, but things were not normal at the moment.

Firstly he had a new boss. An American. He was the polar opposite to Ianto, bold, brash, boisterous and gregarious. He had a propensity for one-on-one pep talks and team-building sessions.

Everybody loved him.

Everybody but Ianto.

He set his teeth on edge.

Secondly, he had been placed on another project, just as high profile as his last one, only not as flammable. He knew he ought to be grateful for this, but he was having trouble accepting this transference.

Last but not least, he had been dumped, from a great height by his girlfriend Lisa. Lisa Hallett. In light of his recent trip away, she had decided that maybe their bio-rhythms were not as in tune as she had previously thought. She had reassessed their relationship charts and had found them to be discordant.

Ianto felt as though he had lost his right arm. He didn't show it of course.

The only bright spark on his horizon was his friend and colleague Toshiko Sato, a fellow researcher. She was the only one who knew the truth about his whereabouts recently. She had stuck by him. She had provided support.

Now Ianto's days revolved around a very simple plan.

Avoiding his boss.

Lunch with Tosh.

Hometime.

Today had got off to a good start; but all that was about to change.

On his way to the cafeteria, Ianto bumped into him.

His boss.

Jack Harkness.

"Hello Jones isn't it? Ianto Jones?"

"Yes sir, pleased to meet you."

"The pleasure's all mine Ianto. Can I call you Ianto? Mr Jones seems so stuffed shirt. I was beginning to think you were a myth."

"Ianto is fine sir."

"Oh stop with the sir, you don't have to call me that." Jack then stopped and fixed Ianto with a look that he tried hard not to decipher "unless you want to."

Heat rushed to Ianto's face.

"Are you going my way, to the café? Why don't we do lunch and get to know each other?"

"I already have plans, sir."

"Of course you do. Tell you what, why don't you swing by my office after, say 2 o' clock and we'll have our induction then."

Ianto felt caught between a rock and a hard place. Refusal wasn't an option.

"Yes sir."

"Great" Jack slapped Ianto heartily on the back. "I'll see you later."

"Looking forward to it …sir." Ianto slunk away, knowing that undiluted alone time with his happy slappy boss was now unavoidable.

-OOO-

Ianto found Tosh seated at the bar which ran the length of the food court. She was perched on one of the high steel stools provided. Those who chose to sit there were rewarded with a magnificent view of Cardiff Bay. Its great expanse lay several storeys beneath them, providing entertainment and distraction.

Ianto was sorely in need of both.

As Ianto approached her, Tosh knew something was awry.

"Tell me quickly before I eat" she said as soon as Ianto came to a stop.

"I just ran straight into him, and then like a rabbit caught in the headlights I couldn't move."

"Him being ..?"

"Captain Jack himself."

"Well it is time you two were introduced…all good things an' all that."

"I know" Ianto began to perch too "I was just trying to hold out until Easter."

Tosh tipped her head back and laughed her surprisingly musical laugh.

"I know bunny hun, but as I said all good things."

Ianto joined in with the light heartedness of the moment, with a smile not a laugh.

"So what was the outcome? Did you just bump noses or did you cross swords?"

"I've been summoned."

"Summoned, oh my."

"I have a one-to-one with the great aviator at 2pm today."

"Well you better have a hearty lunch. I hear these things require stamina."

Not for the first time Ianto was grateful for the advice, his petite personal advisor was able to give him. As he headed towards the salad bar, he resolved to add extra protein to his plate.

Forewarned is forearmed.

-OOO-

Curiously, considering that Captain (an honorary title) Jack Harkness was the newest member of the corporation; he had chosen the oldest office in the complex. Most weren't sure it was even meant to be in use. It resembled an old English WW2 bunker. The type that Churchill might have used to brief his Commander-In-Chiefs on the latest news from the frontlines.

It was dustier than any other room around.

Snug too.

Most of the room was furnished with oddments from local second hand stores. Jack had sought out as many period pieces as his relocation budget allowed. Leather was used in abundance. Working at the cutting edge of science made him want to cling to the past as much as possible.

He even wrote with a fountain pen.

Ianto was almost late. He had trouble finding it, (Jack directions were appalling).

It felt like it was in the basement, amongst the archives.

Ianto and 2 o'clock bumped into each other outside Jack's door, which was open.

"Ianto come in, come in, take a seat, if you can find one."

Ianto surveyed the room and just about held his features in check. He was not impressed. The mess (and he was bearing in mind, that Jack had only been with the company three months) was considerable. It offended his borderline OCD tendencies. His hands itched to slip on some marigolds and get cracking with some bleach.

Ianto carefully removed some files from the chair which faced Jack's statesman-like desk. If this had been a car, Ianto would have suspected that Jack was overcompensating for something.

He sat.

"I'm so glad I bumped into you earlier. It's great to put a face to a name."

"Likewise sir."

A trickle of a smile washed along Jack's lips.

"I hear that you have one of the sharpest, most detail-orientated minds in existence."

"You really oughtn't to listen to gossip."

Jack's smile turned into a full blown grin.

"Sparky too- this should be interesting."

"Was there anything specific you wanted to discuss with me sir?"

"Actually yes, I feel I'm already a fan of a man I hardly know; could you fill in the blanks for me?"

"Of course, I have always been fascinated by science, especially in the avant-garde notion that there may be other species out there in the universe. Being rather precocious I secured work experience here at the age of fifteen, which led to regular work here in my school holidays. After I graduated from university, this was the first job application I made."

"We adopted you from an early age."

"Practically."

"I feel as though I should ask you for a tour of the company. You probably know all the nooks and crannies. We could have a field trip"

Ianto felt as though an amiable facial expression was warranted. He attempted a half-smile. He failed to make the grade.

Despite his obvious lack of happy hormones, Jack could see why Ianto was revered and highly respected within the workforce. He felt that if he could smudge his edges a little, there was a template underneath the impeccable manners on display, that he could trace a finger around.

He just needed to keep everything out of the personal arena. He got sloppy when he mixed business with pleasure.

He doubted very much that Ianto paddled in that pool anyway.

Shame.

Ianto surreptitiously glanced at his watch, not that he wasn't enjoying this; but he did actually have work to do. Catching the manoeuvre Jack moved on to Phase Two.

Unconsciously pulling the walls in a little tighter, Jack asked Ianto to join him at the flip chart, situated in the far corner of the room. He stood behind him.

Ianto felt his vision blur.

He blinked repeatedly.

Lack of sleep was obviously beginning to take its toll on him.

"I'd like to show you, your individual workplace plan."

"I have a timetable now?"

"Only for the next two months. I want to get under your skin to better understand your thought processes."

"Or you could just ask."

"That's Plan B."

It had been too long since Jack had had a sparing partner at work. His place in the pecking order of things, usually deterred opponents.

Ianto was now nose to nose with his forth-coming schedule. He took mental notes. Another apparent glitch in his peripheral vision took him by surprise.

Ianto stepped back; momentarily his spine was flush against Jack's softer organs. He immediately stepped forward again.

"Sorry sir" he murmured.

He noted it took Jack a moment or two to reply.

"No worries Ianto."

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	2. Chapter 2

"So then what happened?" Tosh was on the very edge of her seat, drinking in all Ianto's news.

"Precisely nothing. I took that as my cue to leave and didn't even look back as I did so."

"Have you seen him since?"

"No, I've made it my mission not to."

"You're not worried are you?"

"Not unduly - why should I be?"

"Well you have heard about him, haven't you?"

"Heard what exactly?" Sometimes Ianto's habit of hiding out in his ivory tower, meant that he missed out on things happening at street level. Tosh gave him a sideways glance before she continued, not sure how Ianto would take this,

"It's just that our dear leader likes to ride his bike on both sides of the street."

Incomprehension had made its home on Ianto's face.

"Pardon?"

"He's bi-sexual Ianto, and quite open about it too." Tosh watched carefully as the message finally took root.

"It doesn't seem to cause him any hardship either." This last part was said gently. Tosh reached out her hand and laid it on Ianto's sleeve for added comfort.

Ianto tried not to flinch, but just couldn't help himself.

Splinters still remained.

Tosh nodded sympathetically, she left Ianto to his thoughts. He'd done well.

Today.

-OOO-

It's not that Jack Harkness was a drama-queen or anything; it was just that things, events seemed to happen to him more so than anyone else.

Take his room, his den he liked to call it. It had played ball quite happily for three months, but it was now throwing the mother of all tantrums and had decided to flood itself. Jack thought they had thrashed out the ground rules and that when he saw fit he could move the dimensions of his private space, as long as he undid his actions within twelve hours. He had only missed this deadline by two hours a week ago, when he had been in conference with Ianto Jones (a fine figure of a Welshman if ever he saw one) and now he was knee-deep in world-war sulkiness.

Sometimes Jack felt like he was dealing with a truculent child.

The upshot of all of this was that Jack was effectively homeless. He had been forced to start a nomadic existence, literally setting up his Bedouin tent of office in unoccupied work spaces throughout the corporation.

He was hot-desking.

His spirits could not have been higher.

-OOO-

Ianto liked to make plans and adhere to them faithfully. If "to do" lists hadn't have been invented, Ianto would have saw fit to invent them. Having a plan meant having a purpose; this notion appealed to the very core of his being and yet Ianto was currently experiencing a problem, his latest plan wasn't working.

Hiding from Jack Harkness.

He didn't know whether it was fluke or fate, but Ianto was seeing Jack everywhere. Two days ago Jack was hard at work outside the HR department on the sixteenth floor and yesterday Ianto had twice seen him wedged in-between the gents and the stationery cupboard on the third floor.

Each time Jack had tried to pull Ianto into conversation.

Each time _urgent business_ had pulled him away.

Ianto felt as though he was being stalked. He knew this was irrational but still, he felt what he felt.

-O-

Tosh and Ianto's working relationship was one of almost equality. Almost, in the fact that Ianto liked to let Tosh think they were equals, when in reality he knew she was far superior to him in every way. It was a secret they liked to share.

Within their team of two they had established a good division of labour, Tosh would provide the biscuits for their breaks (chocolate naturally) and Ianto would provide the coffee. Whenever Ianto was in the kitchenette preparing their beverages with skill and precision, people would gather. The aroma of his special blend of beans, transported everyone, (who was lucky to experience it) to their happy place. If Ianto had been inclined to increase his social circle, this would be the perfect crowd pleasing ploy to use.

Heading back to his desk with two steaming mugs of coffee in his hands, Ianto encountered Jack,

again.

He seemed pleased to see him.

"Ianto."

"Sir."

Jack looked at the mugs appreciatively. He licked a lip.

"Is it that time of day already?"

"It would appear so."

Jack smirked.

"I don't want to hold you up so let's walk and talk."

_More talking - great._

"Ianto I think it would be beneficial if we had a follow-up session to our aborted induction. A pow-wow if you will."

"If you wish sir."

"There's just one snag in my tapestry, I don't have a permanent address at the moment."

"I see."

"Ideally I would need somewhere that was comfortable and private."

"Of course."

"Somewhere that was reasonable spacious because I'll have files," Jack looked Ianto dead in the eye "lots of files, papers and charts too."

"Spacious sir, but isn't your office more of a bolt-hole?"

"I fancy a change."

"Obviously."

"So would you have any suggestions where we could go - together?"

"Not off the top of my head sir."

"Think about it Ianto, give it your best shot."

Ianto remained quiet, experience had taught him that gaps in conversations such as this, usually resolved themselves.

Time ticked by.

Jack was a patient soul; he allowed the silence to speak for itself.

The coffee chilled.

Eventually even Ianto was embarrassed by the lack of sound.

"We could always .."

"Always?"

"….go to my place. I mean due to the exceptional circumstances."

"That's a fantastic idea."

"I wouldn't go that far. It solves a problem that's all."

"So it's a date."

"It's not a date."

"I like dates."

"I don't do dates."

"Dates are cosy."

"Seriously, drop the D word from your vocabulary."

"Can I call it a mini-date?"

"There you go with the D word again."

"A dmeeting then?"

"Oh if you must."

"'Til our dmeeting, I bid you adieu dIanto."

Ianto turned, tutted and rolled his eyes as he made his escape with his overdue refreshments.

-OOO-

"It's weird."

"It's not weird, unorthodox maybe but not weird."

Ianto was spilling the beans to Tosh, who had bought herself a small carton of orange juice in lieu of her long-lost coffee.

"He's weird."

"Not weird just different."

"He wears jewellery."

"So."

"Bracelets."

"Oh."

"He's always happy."

"When was happiness made a criminal offence?"

"He's far too friendly." Ianto huffed.

Tosh's nose wrinkled and eyes crinkled at this.

"You could use a little friendliness right now." Even though laughter surrounded this line, she sincerely meant every word.

Ever since Ianto had returned to work Tosh had been increasingly concerned about his limited social circle. As far as she was aware, Ianto only had herself and Owen to call upon; and Owen Harper was a doctor, a paid professional. Between them they had been managing Ianto's anxiety levels with kindness, care and therapy.

"What's your level right now hun?"

The change of tack took Ianto by surprise. He felt a flash of anger, but this was quickly tempered by good sense, as he knew Tosh only had his best interests at heart.

"8 maybe 9."

"Wow that high? He really got to you didn't he? Why do think that is?"

Ianto shrugged his shoulders. As Tosh gave possible explanations for his current mood, he spied a gift. He slowly reached out his hand towards an absent colleague's desk. Discarded on his worktop was a box of matches. Ianto's hand closed around them. Praising himself on his stealth Ianto found that Tosh had placed her hand over his. The silent struggle was over in seconds. Ianto released his bounty into his vigilant bounty-hunter's palm.

"Maybe you should give Owen a call."

"No.!" Ianto said this quicker and louder than he should have.

"Just to check-in with him. Give him an update."

Ianto slowly nodded. He knew the quickest way for this discussion to end was to agree.

"I'll call him tonight."

"I think it's for the best, don't you?"

"Hmmmm." This was all Ianto was able to commit to right now.

-OOO-

**Later that night:**

"Dr Harper's Out-of-Hours Service: How may I help you?"

"May I speak to the doctor please?"

"Is it an emergency?"

"Erm.."

"It's just that he only deals with emergencies at this hour. Routine calls need to made during office hours."

"I think it is."

"Are you sure?"

"Well not completely."

"Only I'd hate to waste his time."

"Of course I understand. Could I just have a quick chat with him regardless, I'm a bit muddled at the moment?"

"You really ought to be sure before you call. His time is very precious you know."

"You're right, maybe I should leave it."

"Whatever you think is best."

"Thank you - goodbye."

"Goodnight sir."

-OOO-

**2****ND**** Feb 07.30 **

Jack had woken up excited. This didn't happen very often. After paying particular attention to his appearance, he put on his greatcoat and left for the office with a spring in his step. If Jack had been younger, he might have played mind games with himself and put his bubbly good mood, down to the fact that Cardiff was experiencing an exceptionally mild day for February, or to the fact that his horoscope had stated, that he would wrestle successfully with his future today. No Jack was no fool; he knew he was as giddy as a goat, because he would be spending time with a certain Welshman. Alone time too.

To expedite matters, Jack would be hot-desking on the first floor, so that he could make a speedy exit.

Their appointment was at mid-day, and as it was Friday, he thought that an afternoon out of the office may lead to evening drinks and distractions. Jack was the eternal optimist.

By 11.30 Jack was good to go. All his files were ready and he had packed a small trunk as well, just for show.

12.00 came and went, so did 12.30. Jack had formed many impressions of Ianto, but none of them included tardiness. He decided to investigate.

On the thirteenth floor Jack came across Ianto's colleague, a dainty smartly dressed Asian woman, Ms Sato.

She looked worried, anxious, almost to the point of distress.

"Ms Sato have you seen Mr Jones at all?"

"No I haven't, in fact I was just about to come and see you. I'm very worried."

"Oh."

"He hasn't been in all morning and that's not like Ianto, you can normally set your watch by him."

"He missed our appointment too."

"He's not answering his phones either."

"Has he ever done anything like this before?"

Tosh started to shake her head and then she stopped.

"Only once" she whispered "but he wasn't feeling very well, it was a while ago."

Jack furrowed his brow. Unease drew up a chair.

"What do you mean, not feeling very well?" For some reason this caused his insides to lurch to the left.

Even though Tosh wanted to help Ianto, she didn't feel comfortable giving all his secrets away. However she instinctively knew that now was not the time to be prudish.

"All I will say is that he was feeling a little agitated back then, I think he might be feeling that way again."

She pulled herself up to her full height of 5 ft 1" in an attempt to bring herself up to Jack's eye-level..

"Captain Jack.."

"Just Jack's fine."

"Ianto could use a friend right now."

"Say no more, let's go."

With a flourish of his greatcoat Jack swept out of the room, leaving Tosh trailing in his wake.

Once outside, they decided to split up to cover more ground. Tosh said she would scour Ianto's old haunts, such as they were and Jack would search the more standard places, Bus and train stations etc.

Jack climbed into his black SUV with tinted windows and made tracks.

Once Tosh was out of sight, Jack made his way down a side alley and pulled over.

Now he could use all the tools he had at his disposal. Pushing back his bracelets and strapping on his wristband, Jack searched all the time zones he had access to. Maintenance was never Jack's strong suit so he was several upgrades behind where he needed to be. Nevertheless his integrated pinpoint device picked up a weak signal, from a desolate area directly behind the conurbation known as Splott.

It registered 1am earlier today. Jack had to move fast, he only had small window of opportunity with this out-dated package. Turning on his vortex manipulator, Jack readied himself for a bumpy ride.

-OOO-

**2****ND**** Feb 01.00**

Ianto wasn't much of a drinker. In fact it was safe to say that the term "lightweight" had been devised especially for him. When forced to endure nights out with friends and colleagues, Ianto could make a pint last the duration. He had even been known to leave some for Mr Manners. In light of this, his quest to drink his own bodyweight in gin seemed an odd one.

_Gin makes you sin._

Ianto had his reasons. He was trying to keep them to himself; but he was running out of headspace.

He had slipped into the slipstream again.

He needed 'rushes to cling onto by the riverbank; but there weren't any.

He had tried treading water, but now he was beginning to drown.

He needed a release.

He was arranging it right now.

-O-

Jack spotted him. He wasn't hard to miss. A lone figure in the middle of wasteland, surrounded by five large metal drums.

The disquiet inside Jack's head grew louder.

He moved with deliberate slow motion. He didn't want to startle him.

Ianto appeared to be talking to himself. From this distance it was difficult to decipher the individual words, but Jack seemed to pick up on one refrain.

_Worthless. I'm worthless, dirty and worthless._

It's not true Jack instinctively thought. How could you think such a thing?

Considering it was an unseasonably mild night, Jack was surprised to see that he could make out Ianto's reflection in the wetness that pooled at his feet.

A wetness that had a certain sheen to it…and smell.

Oh no!

Jack heard the click before Ianto had finished making it.

As Ianto became engulfed in a shawl of red, orange and yellow, the lighter fell from his hand.

Without thought Jack wrestled Ianto to the ground. They crash-landed in the slickness.

Nose-to-nose, chest-to-chest, thigh-to-thigh. Surrounded by a ring of fire.

Ianto realised that he wasn't alone for the first time.

Recalling his initial training, Jack knew that sweet and sour cancelled each other out.

Reaching into the elements, he summoned torrential rain.

The resulting localised cloudburst, puzzled meteorologists for weeks to come.

-O-

Scooping up Ianto into his arms was a challenge. He was lighter than he looked, although his current boneless state added difficulty.

Jack had wrapped his coat around him, for extra comfort. Ianto was unconsciously stroking his fingers over the fabric, as though in a trance.

Jack looked down at his face; even drunk and covered in grime, sweat and gravel he was still the most shockingly beautiful man Jack could remember seeing.

Something about his fragility touched his hearts. Something in him cried out to be cared for.

He knew Ianto was more than a plaything.

He knew that now.

Ianto was stirring.

He coughed and spluttered and attempted to speak.

"No don't talk, just rest Ianto. I've got you. You're safe."

"I I 's nice."

"Sshh."

"Feel's nic..

"Hush now."

"I l l like y y our coat sir."

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	3. Chapter 3

Ianto's head hurt. I mean really hurt. It was as though every brain cell he had, had decided to put on hob-nail boots to spring clean the interior of his skull with wire-wool, sandpaper and broken glass.

Chilli-pepper would have been more soothing.

He couldn't open his eyes. It was too painful. Every time he had attempted it this morning, it felt as though each ray of daylight was being delivered to his sockets by javelin.

It was safer not to try.

His senses were all-to-cock too.

He couldn't get the smell of gasoline out of his nostrils, however hard he tried.

Strange.

He only had a vague recollection to the previous evening. Just shadows, a few bight hues and a feeling of weightlessness.

He knew the evening had contained alcohol.

Ianto understood the concept of cause and effect; but he felt that he was being unduly punished. Yes he had drunk lots (lots and lots actually) but this felt like retribution; as though he had committed the original sin.

Ianto vowed to never drink again. Again.

As a fresh wave of nausea washed over him, Ianto relinquished the last shreds of his free-will and settled back in his (surprisingly ordered) bed. He felt sure he could outrun his present predicament, with duck down and determination.

All he needed was five more minutes.

-OOO-

Meanwhile at an unspecified location, Jack debriefed Tosh on the previous night's events.

"Did he argue or object?"

"No not at all. He seemed a bit dazed but I just guided him to my SUV and took off. It was very straight forward. Textbook almost." Jack spiked his direct eye-contact with Tosh, with sincerity, as he lied through his teeth. Being an expert in reading body language, he could tell that this was going some way to placate her.

"It's just that, last time when he was …agitated; he ratcheted it up several gears and gave The House of Commons a run for their money."

Jack smiled inside and out.

"He seemed exhausted, it was raining. I think that curbed his enthusiasm."

Tosh nodded in acknowledgement of this fact.

"Did you find his address ok?"

"Yes, it wasn't what I expected."

"I know right."

"That's a swanky part of town he lives in. I must be paying him too much."

Tosh's gentle laughter climbed an arpeggio. "I think he inherited it. It's a beautiful townhouse, four floors, with a garden."

"Even in the dark, I could tell it was outstanding, but …"

"I know."

"It seemed erm, very minimalist in décor."

Tosh nodded again, she lowered her head and spoke to the Formica. "I know."

Jack felt that there was a story behind this comment that he probably wasn't going to be told.

"He's in the process of...re-establishing himself." She added.

"Since the last episode?" Jack was beginning to piece the puzzle together that was Ianto Jones; he could do with the lid for guidance.

"Yes he's a work-in-progress." Tosh hastily grabbed Jack's hand. "He is getting there. Please be patient Jack." Tosh's eyes and voice worked in tandem to implore their message.

Jack was aware of the adage that said, you are judged by the company you keep. Ianto appeared to be in excellent company.

-O-

Toshiko Sato was not the type of girl to stick her head above the parapet. You wouldn't pick her out of a line up. She wasn't the type that you would notice first when entering a room; however she was the type that you would want on your team.

While others used up all the available oxygen drawing attention to themselves, Toshiko observed, digested, considered and evaluated before she came to her conclusion.

Tosh was a scientist through and through.

Although deeply grateful to Captain Jack, for his immediate and unswerving help with the Ianto issue, something didn't quite add up.

Something was amiss.

It was not that Tosh doubted Jack's motives, no he seemed genuine in that respect; it was just that she didn't feel as though she could see all the questions on the exam paper. She felt as though somebody's hand was covering up an instruction, a tip that could speed things along.

She wanted to know why.

Flawless manners meant that if she felt she could help anyone in any way, she would.

Tosh observed that Jack's watch was broken. The face had been smashed and the leather strap bubbled, as though it had been burnt. She kindly offered to take the watch to the menders, it was no bother, it was on her way. Jack had been surprised and delighted at this unexpected offer. He quickly unstrapped the useless time piece and handed it over. The hands appeared to be stuck at 1.15am.

Toshiko noticed this.

-OOO-

Dr Owen Harper was a bit like Marmite, you either hated him or you hated him.

Brilliant though he was in his field of psychiatry, he was not in it to make friends. He had every sympathy for those in need; however he didn't suffer fools gladly. He was out of step with the current trend to praise mediocrity or to fawn over the brainless.

He did not have an entourage.

One person who was able to stand his brusque diagnosis and cutting analysis, was Tosh.

Friends since Sixth Form, they had formed an unlikely alliance and had remained in touch over the years, despite the odds.

Owen would hate to admit it to himself, but seeing Tosh lifted his spirits in a way no-one else could.

He almost felt as though he needed her.

Almost.

-O-

Saturday mornings were sacrosanct to Owen, work could be stifling and all consuming at times but the birth of the weekend brought the promise of temporary tranquillity.

Tosh was aware of this and still she called.

Something was wrong.

They arranged to meet in a little coffee shop on the tip of the bay. The views were dramatic. To the left the metropolitan sprawl displayed the fruits of a vibrant city. To the right the beginnings of the countryside could be glimpsed. The lure of the land.

It was one of Ianto and Tosh's favourite spots.

"Ianto had an episode yesterday." Tosh plunged straight in, setting the agenda before she had even removed her coat, on her arrival.

"Tell me everything." Owen dispensed with the social niceties too.

"He went missing, all day and most of the night."

"Again?"

"I know."

"Damn he promised he wouldn't."

"I know."

"What triggered it this time? Do we know?" Owen had taken a seat and had raised his arm indicting he required service. A waiter quickly came to his aid. "A double espresso and a cappuccino mate. Ta."

The order was given. No consultation.

"He finally met our boss."

"I'm not following."

"He's an Alpha-male."

"Shit."

"He's confident, friendly, too friendly some might say. He's genial, warm and loud. I think he sent Ianto into a tailspin."

"Course."

"His anxiety levels shot up."

"To what?"

"8 or 9"

"Jesus, why didn't he contact me?"

"I thought he had, he said he was going to."

"Where is he now?"

"At home. Jack put him to bed; I'm on my way round there now to check on him."

Owen couldn't help himself. "Jack? Who's Jack?"

"Captain Jack Harkness, our nearly new boss. He's American." Tosh informed with a slight smile on her lips. "He's been a real godsend. " The smile remained.

Owen squinted at her expression and took a scalding gulp of his espresso. He was not amused.

"Don't trouble yourself, I'll go. It's time Ianto and I had a talk."

"Owen you're an angel." Tosh leant over the small round marble topped table and pressed her lips to Owen's cheek. "Keep me up-to-date, yeah?" She got up and slipped away, hardly disturbing the throng around her.

Owen watched her go.

-O-

Owen was a man of science. He needed facts, figures, hypotheses and proven theories. He needed to believe what he had seen. Today he had encountered a twist. A ripple in his rationale.

In his opinion some things were just meant to be. Fish and chips. The sand and the sea. The papers and Saturday mornings. Whilst browsing earlier today, Owen had come across an article which intrigued him.

A young man, mid-twenties had been found dead on a piece of wasteland in Splott. This was not outstanding in any way, people slipped over the edge of consciousness daily. No, the fact that caught Owen's eye was that the man had been immaculately dressed, in bespoke menswear.

Odd.

Owen only knew one man who invested that much time and money into his attire, at such a young age.

Allowing his eyes to graze the page again a funny thing happened. The letters were lifting from the page and disappearing into nothingness. Like someone was removing Sellotape from a piece of wood and taking the imprint of the grain with it. The picture of the council estate was being replaced with one of a middle-aged man, beaming at his good fortune of finding true Welsh gold, on the beach with his metal detector.

Owen's eyes hunted for the original story.

They hunted in vain.

Usually if Owen had a conundrum that was ripping his brain to shreds, he would thrash out all the possibilities with his close friend. Usually he would play devil's advocate, until his close friend presented him back to him.

Only she had just left.

-OOO-

Ianto had only been up for half an hour. With all the agility of the walking dead, he had managed to stagger down the stairs to the kitchen and was now on his third cup of coffee.

The fog was beginning to lift.

The memory board was still blank.

The peace that he had finally managed to find was shattered. His front door was being rattled off its hinges.

He shuffled forward, the soles of his feet providing his floorboards, with the only heat they would feel that day.

"Ianto, Ianto open up." The voice was familiar. Ianto undid the locks with a sense of ease.

"Hello. " The door swung open.

"Fuck you."

Even in his punctured state Ianto raised a smile.

"Come through, I'm in the kitchen."

Owen marched through the house, au fait with the layout. He turned left, reached up and opened a cupboard and retrieved a mug.

He held it out to Ianto.

Ianto did the honours.

"So what the hell happened?"

"Happened?"

"Tosh said you got spooked. Elvis left the building for a little bit."

Ianto played with his sugar cubes distractedly. He appreciated his therapist's interest in him, but sometimes his aftercare felt more like afterconcern.

"It was nothing really."

"The nothing that made you play hooky from work?"

Ianto let out a heartfelt sigh. He started to crush cubes between his fingertips.

"The nothing that sent you on a bender?" Ianto was on the verge of protesting but Owen cut him off.

"Don't try to deny it Yan; I could wring you out if I wanted to."

Ianto began to trace patterns in the crushed debris on his kitchen counter.

"I met him."

"I heard."

"He's loud. He's annoying and he's everywhere."

"I heard that too."

"We were meant to meet but I couldn't."

Ianto then heard a tone of voice that Owen only used with his patients.

"Why not Ianto?"

Ianto stopped playing with his creative carbohydrate and faced his interrogator.

"He's just too real, too tangible. He's not a fantasy figure or wishful thinking, he's an actual possibility."

"This scares you because..?"

"He's flesh and blood. He's now. I can almost taste him. I can smell him. It's all too much."

"Why too much?"

Ianto turned away flustered, upset.

"I shouldn't think like this. Things go wrong when I think like this. Look what happened last time."

"You didn't have any semblance of control then Yan. You were taken by surprise."

"I wanted it though."

"It's ok to want, it's ok to have. You just have to be present that's all."

This wasn't the first time Ianto had tried to digest this particular message, but it was the first time his ears had transferred the meaning to his brain.

"Look next time, don't suffer in silence, don't go off the grid, call me. You've got my number, use it you muppet."

Ianto nodded his head, he felt he ought to mention something at this point, but he couldn't remember what that was.

"Well I'm off." Owen drained his mug even though the contents were cold now. This coffee was too good to waste. "Don't be a stranger, look after yourself man."

Owen let himself out, he knew the way.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	4. Chapter 4

Ianto slipped back into the workplace almost unnoticed.

Upon entering the laboratory on the thirteenth floor, Tosh beamed, walked towards him, raised her arms and hugged all the parts of him that she could reach. Then it was business as usual. If anyone else had missed him in his absence, they didn't mention it.

This made Ianto feel anonymous. It was a feeling he liked.

Picking up the threads of his work sampler again Ianto felt at home.

Sort of.

Something was nibbling at the corners of his biscuit brain.

Something was leaving a knot in his hormonal handkerchief.

He felt a compulsion to be nice.

To whom?

Why?

-O-

Over the course of the coming weeks Ianto varied his routine. He still had a lunch date, everyday with Tosh.

He still looked forward to hometime; but he had stopped avoiding his boss Jack Harkness. In fact he was inexplicably, actively seeking him out.

Sort of.

If there were any errands to run, Ianto ran them; especially if they involved taking samples to the basement, coincidentally passing Jack's office on the way.

His door was always open.

Ianto always peeked in.

Surreptitiously of course.

Jack's head was always down, working hard, (but his sensors sensed a certain Welshman).

Within a matter of days, Ianto came baring gifts, well coffee. The seductive aroma filled the room as he entered, corner to corner, carpet to ceiling. The shelves moved closer.

This time Jack raised his head. Knowing that Ianto had a low startle point, he let him take the lead.

"It's about that time again sir."

"Date time?"

"Break time."

"Oh" Jack tried wholly unsuccessfully to hide his teasing grin. He took the blue stripy mug being offered to him. "At last my lips get to touch something of yours Ianto."

Ianto changed colour.

"Be careful sir, it's hot."

"I'll say."

Ianto rolled his eyes and walked away, but not before turning his head to watch Jack take his first sip of his ebony coloured elixir. His response was more than Ianto had expected. Jack grinned broadly and slowly raised his chin to the sky, whilst tilting his head back; he puffed his chest out. Ianto could practically see the waves of peristalses transporting the beverage, down his throat to his stomach.

Ianto's chest blushed.

The sound Jack made, reminded him of a sound that belonged to another room.

He left quickly.

-O-

Ianto increased his visitations.

He made sure that he saw Jack's door at least twice a day. The excuses he made were elaborate and flimsy.

He didn't care.

He'd lost his head.

On a day that Jack was working extra hard, (papers everywhere, files everywhere, swear box full). Ianto silently slid into the room. Without disturbing the ever encroaching mess, he reached out and took Jack's overused leaking fountain pen from his hand. Retrieving a small bottle of white spirit and a cloth from his pocket, Ianto proceeded to delicately wipe Jack's inky fingers clean.

Jack watched this wordless operation, with something akin to awe.

All his hearts synchronised to sigh in unison.

-O-

Seeing Jack wasn't always Ianto's major priority. On the last day of the month, Ianto arrived with the dawn,

(he had been fighting it, but he could stand it no more); armed with every portable cleaning product he could find, and a multipack of dusters, Ianto set to work, (and yes he whistled).

As he finished bringing Jack's bunker up to an acceptable standard of cleanliness, Ianto thought he heard the walls chuckle. He could only conclude, the chemical fumes had gone to his head.

_He must open a window._

When Jack arrived several hours later, before he could take off his greatcoat, he only had one thing to say.

"Ianto."

-OOO-

Being a nicely brought up boy, Jack knew it was only polite to return the kind gesture that Ianto had displayed towards him. Being the weekend Jack hoped that he could wing it to his advantage, and mix politeness with pleasure.

_Here goes nothing._

Armed with two bottles of Tempranillo and a winning smile, Jack made his way to Ianto's. He had memorised the address before he had finished reading it a month ago.

Casting his mind back to that time, Jack surmised that the electrical activity around Ianto could still be volatile, so he threw a negative ionised force field around Ianto's townhouse.

For Ianto's protection.

For Jack's peace of mind.

-O-

To say that Ianto was surprised to see Jack at his door was an understatement. However widened eyes and a hint of tongue poking out through his lips, did not detract from his appeal.

Not expecting any guests, Ianto was in mufti. A tight fitting navy blue t-shirt gripped his chest and unusually muscular arms, while a loose fitting pair of jeans, fit where they touched around his waist and hips.

Jack forced himself not to show his appreciation.

"Hey Ianto, I hope I'm not disturbing you?"

"No of course not sir, come in."

Ianto led the way down his extensive hallway to his living room. In the daylight Ianto's home looked even more sparsely furnished, than the last time Jack had seen it. It really did look as though he had yet to move in properly. As though he was waiting for the rest of his belongings to arrive.

His living room was a perfect case in point; it held a large black Chesterfield sofa, a single chair and a small slightly charred coffee-table. That was all. No personal effects. Nothing that gave a clue about the person who actually lived there.

Strange.

Ianto made a bee line for the chair. Jack sunk into the sofa. He remembered when this style was new.

"Would you like a drink?" Ianto seemed slightly nervous.

Jack wiggled his bottles at him "Came locked and loaded."

Ianto relieved his guest of his gifts and disappeared into the kitchen. When he returned he was holding one wine glass filled with wine, and one water glass filled with water. He handed the wine to Jack.

"You not drinking Ianto?"

"This is wine. I've just changed its appearance that's all." Ianto's deadpan delivery was convincing.

"Transmogrification? On a Saturday? Impressive."

Ianto's eyes smiled briefly. "Actually I'm off the sauce for a while; I can get a bit …carried away."

"I know." The words slipped out before Jack could stop them.

"Pardon?"

"I know what you mean, is what I meant to say."

"Hmmm." Ianto took a second or two to fully accept this answer. Jack sought to move the conversation on quickly.

"Ianto, regardless of your drinking habits, I'd like to raise a toast." He held his glass aloft. "To you."

"To me?"

"Thank you for all your kindness', over these last few weeks. I appreciate it."

"I was just doing my job sir."

"No you've been going above and beyond Ianto, don't think I haven't noticed."

"'Twas nothing sir." Ianto bashfully hung his head as he clinked his glassware with his guest. Jack could see that the back of his neck, was the same colour as salmon.

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Loved to, what are we having?"

"I'll see."

-O-

Ianto rose and re-entered the kitchen. Jack took this opportunity to do a quick life-audit of the house. Touching all four edges of the room, he discovered that this dwelling had stood since 1890. A well-to-do doctor had originally inhabited it. Him and his six children. The eldest son had inherited it, but unfortunately he had died in the Great War. The house then passed to the youngest son who had turned the basement into a speakeasy in the 1920's. Racking up huge debts meant the youngest son was forced to sell the house. It changed hands several times during the 1930's, eventually becoming a recruiting office for the Army in the Second World War. The 1950's saw the building being reclaimed as a home again. Homes in fact, as the place was subdivided into three flats. Young couples started their lives together here. The 60's saw a period of decline which lasted most of the decade. Many nameless, faceless people called this address home; temporarily. In the 70's, Jack sensed freedom and free love under his fingertips, remnants from the townhouse's commune days. The gentrification of the 80's, restored the abode to a family home once more, and the 90's saw the arrival of a strained but civil family. A tyrant of a father strictly regulated the actions of an outgoing daughter and a near silent son. A fractious relationship led to the separation of father and son. The grown up son only returning after the death of the father. This is where things became hazy for Jack, he knew something turbulent had happened recently; but he was unable to see clearly what exactly this was.

The home stopped talking.

When Ianto came into the room, he could've sworn he saw Jack listening to his walls. He crept up behind him.

"Will fish pie do you?"

Jack jumped at the sudden interruption. "Lovely."

"It'll take a while." Ianto was still within his personal space, seemingly unable to move. Jack breathed in his heat.

"Not a problemo, it'll give us a chance to talk. Tell me a bit more about yourself, we've got time after all."

Jack made sure he sat on the chair now, forcing his host to take the more comfortable sofa. Ianto circled his chair, trailing his fingers across the top of it, before he sat down.

Ianto pulled a face, _small talk, what fun. _He was reluctant to start.

"Well some would say I'm a touch OCD."

"Don't you mean CDO?"

"Huh?"

"Well surely someone with OCD would put the letters in the correct order?"

The face Ianto pulled this time contained a smirk.

He relaxed slightly in spite of himself.

Jack held out his glass, angling for a top-up. Ianto obliged.

"Tell me something else that no-one else knows."

"I also make cheese."

"Make cheese?"

"Yes."

"Make cheese?!"

"I think I said yes."

"As in, there once was nothing and now there is cheese?"

"YES." Ianto was mildly puzzled that this was such a wild notion to grasp.

"I always knew you had a scent like no other. How was I to know it was Gorgonzola"

It was safe to say Ianto did not share Jack's sense of humour.

Jack still couldn't resist, he sang out.

"The hills are alive, with the sound of Caerphilly. "

"You do know my front door has a handle on both sides, don't you?"

"Alright I'll be good. For now. What else constitutes the wonder of Ianto?"

As Ianto's lips moved Jack tried to read his mind.

No luck.

He tried to separate his chakras.

No luck.

He tried to run his hands around his aura, to see which emotion it was currently radiating.

Luck there was none.

_Damn, I__'__ll have to rely on what he is actually saying then - how very twenty-first century._

Ianto's lips stopped moving, he stared at Jack.

"You haven't been listening to a word I've been saying have you?"

Jack was indignant. "That's so not tru… ok you got me." He suddenly perked up. "Is there a forfeit? Will I be punished?"

Ianto rolled his eyes extra slowly; but then a thought struck him.

"Actually there is a forfeit, why don't we play truth or dare?"

"Followed by spin the bottle?"

"No."

"Oh."

"Truth or dare."

"Dare."

"Sorry your forfeit is that you have to tell the truth."

"So why ask?"

"Politeness."

"Truth then."

"Are you bi-curious?" Even at this stage Ianto still hedged his bets.

"No. No I'm not bi-curious, I'm bisexual. My curiosity has been satisfied. Thanks for asking."

Jack promptly turned the tables.

"Are you bi-curious?"

Ianto shook his head.

"Bi-sexual?"

A second shake.

"Gay then?"

Ianto paused. He took a sip of fortifying water. His left eyebrow began to twitch.

"Um er, theoretically, on paper, using the Kinsey scale, some might say …." his voice trailed off, barely a whisper; "but in reality my hands are empty. Always have been. Does that count?"

_Some might say._

"Truth or dare."

"Dare." Jack moved himself and his wine glass over to the sofa. He caught his toe on its heavily upholstered edge, stumbled, but managed to regain his balance, without spilling a drop. He was now next to Ianto.

"I dare you to show me any embarrassing or crazy tattoos you may have about your person."

Jack's face lit up. He separated his numerous bracelets to reveal _Ianto dymuniad fy nghalon _etched into the underside of his right wrist.

Ianto took a sharp intake of breath. Completely caught off-guard.

Jack knew it was a risk to reveal this particular tatt, rather than the dragon he had embedded in his inner thigh; but something was pushing him to this point.

He was willing to be pushed.

Ianto was mesmerised. He traced the outline of the calligraphy, while his brain was stuck on mute.

"What were you thinking?"

"I was thinking of you."

Ianto blinked hard at this news. "Have you ever thought of becoming shy?"

"Why be shy? It just wastes time. You know you're gonna like me in the end."

Ianto turned his face away, trying to hide his amusement from Jack.

"So Ianto, what's it to be, a truthful dare or the daring truth?"

The young Welshman took his time to consider his options.

"Th th the truth please."

Jack cleared his throat; he wanted to pitch this just right. He edged slightly closer to Ianto on the sofa.

"What are you truly afraid of?"

Ianto sat back in shock.

"Wh what d d do you mean?"

Jack elaborated. "What keeps you awake at night? Makes your palms sweat and your head spin?"

Ianto's lips mouthed the word _you_ before telling his brain.

Jack nodded with his eyes.

Ianto then reached out and took a cheeky sip from Jack's wineglass before shedding his first layer.

"I have this coat, a waistcoat actually, that I've also wanted to try on. It's vibrant and eye-catching, not at all like my others. It's made from the finest silk, interlaced with steel. I keep it at the back of my closet and once in a while I look at it.

It doesn't fit me...yet. Maybe one day I'll grow into it."

"I'd like to be there when you do."

Ianto purposely avoid Jack's eye line, as he took another taste of his wine.

-O-

Jack couldn't be sure, but he thought that Ianto had just touched him. On the waist, subtly.

In fact Ianto had been touching him all night.

Briefly.

Lightly.

Teasingly.

A hand on his shoulder. Another placed in the centre of his back. A finger that brushed briefly against his pulse point on his wrist. If Ianto had been more definite in his _inclination, _Jack would have come to the conclusion that he was being love bombed.

There, it had happened again; there was no mistaking that. Ianto had placed his hand on Jack's knee and had held it there for at least three seconds. Longer than the requisite timeframe for casual contact.

Ianto was flirting.

Emboldened, Jack leant forward and placed his hand behind Ianto's head. He stopped to gauge his possible reaction. Ianto licked his lips, whilst he stared at Jack's.

Taking that as a green light, Jack placed the sweetest of kisses on Ianto's plump youthful mouth.

The whole room changed colour.

Before Jack could savour the delights of Ianto's nubile nirvana however, Ianto had grabbed Jack by the lapels and was pulling, pushing and dragging his guest towards the front door.

Jack was confused.

Ianto had managed to unlock, open and hurl Jack through the portal before Jack's fifty-first century brain had managed to recalibrate itself.

The gateway slammed shut.

In Jack's face.

He was left alone. Standing on the other side. Bewildered….but not for long.

Less than a semi-breve later the door opened and Ianto's hands reached out and pulled Jack inside again.

Jack took a step backwards, unsure now.

Ianto took a step towards him, determined.

This time he was the one who reached behind Jack's neckline to bring their mouths together. He flipped Jack and pressed him up against the barrier that had been between them.

Ianto was in control now.

-OOO-

**A/N Ianto dymuniad fy nghalon = Ianto my heart's desire.**

**Comments are always appreciated**


	5. Chapter 5

_Ianto was in control now._

He tried his best to eliminate the air that was between himself and Jack. His lips found that his chin and nose were preventing him from getting as close as he wanted to be.

_Damn._

He tilted his head.

_Success._

Ianto's hands found their home in Jack's thick impulsive hair, while his tongue catalogued the contents of his mouth for the first time.

He tasted Jack's smile.

Now flush against Jack's flesh, a flicker of a memory flashed across his brain.

He kissed it away.

Eventually the need to breathe again, forced him to raise his face from Jack's.

Jack's smile became wider.

"Wow, what an introduction. Was not expecting that."

"What were you expecting?"

Jack tipped Ianto's chin towards him. "Something more along these lines." He placed an almost shy hint of a kiss on Ianto's lips, leaving the tip of his tongue behind.

"That'll work too." Ianto's eyes contained a twinkle. "Come." Ianto jerked on Jack's hand and moved towards his stark staircase. "I need to be looking at another ceiling."

Upstairs was the destination.

Ianto led the way.

-O-

Jack had forgotten that Ianto's bedroom was on the third floor. The last time he had mounted these stairs; his hands had been full of a certain Welshman.

_No change there then._

Every part of him was thrilled, that Ianto was conscious for this particular journey.

Conscious and in a hurry too. Jack had to jog to keep up.

Ianto paused when he arrived outside a door on his personal landing.

"This is my room."

_I know._

Jack nodded.

Ianto remained on pause.

Jack took the lead.

"Come on, it's not much use to us if we're outside and its inside.

It was Ianto's turn to nod.

-O-

The interior of Ianto's room still took Jack's breath away. He had not been aiming for homely that's for sure. The room held a bed (curiously queen sized), a wardrobe, a chest of drawers and another chair. Every single item of furniture was white. So was the bedding. Only the ornate clock that presided over the top of the chest of drawers, provided a contrast; by being rococo in style and gilt gold in colour.

Everywhere else was bare. Even the windows were devoid of curtains.

Ianto pushed Jack onto the bed and then stepped back to survey his prize. He loved to look at him. As it was the weekend, he had missed his daily fix of this.

Now he could take his time.

Jack was an attentive model. He knew that Ianto was taking an inventory of his features and slowly, ever so slowly turned this way and that, to aid him.

In the darkness, Jack could hear his pupils dilate.

Seconds graduated to minutes.

"Hey you."

"Hey yourself."

"Why don't you take a seat and make me more comfortable?"

Ianto chuckled. "What would I get out of it?"

"Take a seat and you'll find out."

Giggling, Ianto sat astride Jack's lap; but before he could fully rest his haunches he had risen again.

"You have got to be kidding me."

Ianto moved towards his chest of drawers and dutifully deposited his watch there.

"In case I forget later."

He then resumed his original seat, at a painstakingly slow pace. Jack viewed him with suspicion.

This time he slipped his hands, down the back of Ianto's jeans, cupping the twin globes of his bum, anchoring him in place.

"Cheeky."

"I'll say, do you work out?"

Ianto knitted his eyebrows together and nudged noses with Jack, looking him straight in the eye.

"Not usually but I'm getting a strange urge to work something out of my system, right about now."

"Do you need any help with that?"

"If you could pitch in, that would be great."

Jack growled "All you had to do was ask."

Ianto flung his arms around Jack and kissed him ardently, whilst Jack stroked his finger along Ianto's cloth covered seam.

Ianto began to pant.

His breath punctuating Jack's lips like individual full stops.

Jack transposed the manic rhythm to Ianto's posterior.

Ianto began to keen.

Craving, delight, surprise and satisfaction filled Jack's ears.

Knowing that there could be a descant to this, Jack changed keys. He knew there needed to be less clothing in the room. He was loathe to remove his hands from Ianto, but needs must. He slid his hands under the thin sheath that separated their two bodies, worshipping Ianto's chest along the way. His t-shirt however put up a fight. It clung to his muscles as though it were wet. Not even the promise that it would be properly folded, could entice it to let go. Eventually Ianto ripped it from his own body.

Needs most certainly must.

-O-

Ianto proceeded to tear the fabric away from Jack's frame too. The heat they were generating would be enough to keep them warm.

Now bare, Ianto could touch what had driven his dreams for the past month. Jack's body provided a feast for his eyes and his mouth.

Ianto headed straight for Jack's nipples. He had tasted nipples before, but not ones covered in hair.

He licked, he nipped, he suckled, he bit.

He ran through his full repertoire in less than a minute, and then started all over again.

The noise level in the room rose.

Significantly.

Ianto moved on, he kissed his own path down Jack's chest to his groin, leaving a slivery trail of saliva behind, which glistened in the moonshine.

Jack offered words of encouragement, most of them started with the letter f.

-O-

If Jack had had any secret misgivings that Ianto would lose his nerve, when faced with the reality of touching another male intimately, he needn't have worried. Ianto attacked his briefs with gusto. Much like a male stripper who has a knack of disrobing in a blink an eye; Ianto seemed to magic Jack's underwear away, even quicker. There was no hesitation at all; he swallowed Jack from tip to root instantly. So eager was he, he bumped his nose on Jack's pelvic bone.

Jack was unable to form a coherent word, f shaped or otherwise.

What Ianto lacked in technique, he made up for with enthusiasm. Jack had to coat Ianto's teeth with an anaesthetic, to keep this experience in the realms of what is considered pleasurable.

Jack didn't want to arrive at his destination too soon, but Ianto was unable to read the signposts along the way. His climax took both of them by surprise.

Ianto coughed uncontrollably as the back of this throat filled with liquid. He hadn't had time to decide whether to spit or swallow. Jack schooched down the bed to offer praise, comfort and reassurance.

He kissed Ianto's lips, further surprising him with his willingness to savour his own seed.

-O-

Jack sought to return the favour. One hand leisurely walked across the landscape named Ianto, until he felt the warmth in his lap. The other caught Ianto's wrists above his head. Jack was partial to a bit of restraint. He enjoyed having something to buck against, to rail against something that may not yield. To have something push him to his limits.

Ianto did not.

He started to moan, and not with pleasure.

He started to sweat, without stimulation.

He started to utter words of protestation, and really mean them.

The walls lowered their gaze.

"Fuck, no no."

"Ianto sorry. I'm sorry."

"Gerroff me. Get away."

"Yan look at me. I'm not touching you. Look."

"I won't do it again. Help me."

"Yan please look at me. See no hands. You're fine, it's fine. You're safe. You're with me, your Jack."

Ianto's spasms of anguish started to recede. The hairs on his body stood down. He eventually managed to focus his gaze on the man that was actually in front of him. A man looking down on him with concern and deep love.

Jack tenderly brushed a slick strand of hair behind Ianto's ear.

"I can't apologise enough."

"It wasn't your fault. It wasn't you."

"Where did you go Yan?"

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Were you hurt?"

"I can't talk about this now."

Jack could sense timelines crossing over; he was almost too scared to breathe out.

Almost.

"Ok then, tell me what you need."

Ianto was quick with his response. "I need this" he indicated Jack's penis, "here" he indicated himself, "now."

Only fifty per cent of Jack's brain understood.

"Are you sure? Now?"

Ianto nodded. "I need you to hold me. I need you to make it go away. I need you inside me." Ianto's pupils sought Jack's in the dimness "Please Jack."

Each statement was delivered with a campaigning kiss.

How could Jack dismiss such a plea?

Ianto lay back to receive his man. He gently stroked Jack's face.

Encouraged by Ianto's apparent second wind (his standing ovation displayed total commitment. Stone was softer).

Jack raised the membership of his particular club, by one.

-OOO-

Jack woke with a smile on his face. Ianto was in his arms, curled up against his inner contours.

The previous night had ended on a high. Assertive Ianto had re-entered the bedroom. His demands and inventiveness had meant that Jack had spent more time keeping up with him, than worrying about him. This attitude seemed to have carried over to the morning; currently he was gently rubbing his backside against Jack's morning glory.

Jack got the impression Ianto was trying to be subtle. Maybe he thought Jack was still sleeping and was trying to gain some illicit pleasure from his sleeping form.

Jack broke the spell.

"Morning Sunshine."

Ianto shot across the bedspace away from Jack, as though he had been burned.

"Oh sorry sorry sorry" he murmured; well that's what Jack thought he murmured, it was difficult to tell, as Ianto had now buried his had beneath the covers.

Was this beginner's remorse?

Did Ianto regret his actions (and reactions) of the night before?

Was his heterosexuality looking back in anger?

"Hey Yan are you ok?"

"Don't look at me!" Came the fretful reply.

"It's kind of hard not to when you've stolen all the bedding and you're wearing it as a shield."

Ianto's eyes appeared over the counterpane. He needed to assess the situation for himself. He soon ducked down again.

"Last night ….I've never….I shouldn't have."

"Ianto please don't."

"I couldn't help myself."

"Please don't do this to yourself."

"I couldn't stop it."

"Did you want to?"

"I've never …. like that before."

Jack felt the need to probe.

"Are you upset 'cause you were in bed with a guy?"

"No!" Ianto's head reappeared again. He tried to sit up, only the swaddling bedclothes made this difficult. Defeated he lounged.

"No I liked being with you" he flushed "loved it in fact. It's just that I've never been so …..abandoned before. I was loud…wild…barely in control."

The flushing continued.

"I know, it was great wasn't it?" Jack beamed.

Ianto looked up, alarmed.

"You don't understand. I could have said anything, done anything, touched anything."

"An' that would've been bad because…?"

Ianto looked at Jack as though he was dumb, unsure why the message wasn't getting through.

"You would see me that's why. Really see me. You'd be aware of my true wants and desires. There'd be no hiding place anymore."

Jack finally understood. He just failed to comprehend why this was an issue.

He spoke softly.

"Yeah but Yan surely that's what good sex is all about. It's about communicating your deepest desires to a special person, having them met and revelling in the resulting bliss together. If it's not, then I read the rulebook wrong."

Ianto looked at his bed-partner steadily and then rolled his eyes.

"So you think you're someone special then?"

"If the cap fits wear it I say."

Happiness could be heard throughout that sentence.

Ianto shook his head in mock dismay.

"What am I going to do with that big head of yours?"

"I don't know about that one, but I've got an idea about what you could do with this one."

Jack slid across the bed and directed Ianto's free hand beneath the sheets.

"You're incorrigible."

"Working on it Sunshine, working on it."

With that Jack pulled Ianto on top of him. He kissed him long and hard, he was determined to make the rest of his morning, good.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	6. Chapter 6

The rain-clogged clouds parted and a little weak sunshine spilled through.

Ianto was happy.

Really happy.

He knew this was the right emotion to label his current state, because he remembered it from years ago.

Years and years ago.

The last time that Ianto had felt like this, was when his mum was alive.

He had been eight.

His mum had brought sunshine and cuddles to every day. She had been his shining beacon of comfort and love. She had tirelessly supported her children in all their endeavours. She had built forts and castles and moats. She had made costumes; spacemen, dinosaurs, kings and cowboys. Nothing was too much for her. All her time had been his and Rhiannon's.

He particularly loved their special times together, when they would share books. Ianto would be encircled in her arms, safe and warm, leaning back against her soft breast as she filled his head full of pirate adventures, spies and detectives. She had encouraged his love of The Hardy Boys and James Bond. She did not think it odd, that most of his close friends were books.

The sun went down the day she died.

It had been sudden; a short sharp shock with a horrifically long afterburn.

Cancer.

She hadn't liked to complain, so when the diagnosis was made, the prognosis wasn't good.

Three months and she was gone.

The decision was made to move; to start afresh. A smart town house was chosen.

It was never a home.

Things change however.

Now the sun had come out again.

Now Ianto had arms around him again.

He felt that if he were to fall backwards, someone who cares would be there to catch him.

It was a powerful feeling to rekindle.

He would treat it with respect. The memory of his mum deserved that at the very least.

-OOO-

Work took on a different hue. Ianto was pleased to be there. Very pleased. The reason was Jack Harkness. His not so new boss made the edges of his existence smile. Not being one for public displays of affection, Ianto surprised himself (and Jack) with his willingness to snatch bite-sized moments of pleasure with him.

It now went without saying, that Ianto would _visit _Jack daily.

No reason was given, he would simply slip away. Tosh had become used to halting an observation she was about to make, because Ianto was no longer standing in front of her.

Unscheduled touching became the order of the day.

When passing each other in the corridor, fingers would brush against fingers. Ianto discovered that if he was quick, he could run his palm down Jack's back and pinch his bottom, before the unsuspecting eyes of his surrounding colleagues could register the movement. The lift was his favourite playground; stopped between floors, it provided seven minutes in heaven on so many occasions, that maintenance had to be called.

Now Ianto smiled. A lot.

It was this frequent facial adornment that caught Tosh's eye. Waiting until they were alone, at lunchtime, Tosh sought to find out the source of Ianto's unusual sunny expression.

"Hey happy hobbit."

"Who are you calling a hobbit?"

"So you're not denying you're happy then?"

"No, I just object to being called a hobbit more."

Tosh sucked on her smoothie straw, whilst trying to see into the inner sanctum of Ianto's eyes.

"What gives Mr Jones?"

Ianto feigned incomprehension. His attention seemed to be taken up with choosing between a piece of melon, or a grape as his next mouthful.

"Ianto honey, what's up? I sense … a shift."

Ianto gave up trying to avoid eye-contact. This was Tosh for crying out loud, his oldest friend. It was pointless trying to hide his life from her inspection.

"I've taken up a new hobby."

"Oh?"

"Sex."

"Oh!"

"With Jack Harness."

"Oh my goodness Ianto!"

Tosh's exclamation was so loud; it drew curious glances and stares from those within a nosey distance.

Ianto dipped his blush-tinged face.

"That's amazing. Incredible and quite frankly shocking. How? When? I feel I've missed a chapter or two. You don't like him. You said so."

"I think I need to fill you in on a few details."

"You're only thinking this now?"

Ianto chuckled good - naturedly.

"Not here though. Let's go to our closet."

"Lead on MacDuff."

Both Ianto and Tosh slid down from their perches and made their way to their secret hidey-hole. It had become necessary over recent months, to have a place that they could talk freely. The canteen was a good place to start a conversation, but more intimate details needed a more secure framework.

Hence the closet.

It was really just an abandoned stationery cupboard, on the tenth floor. The move towards a more paperless office had meant that fewer supplies were needed. Less storage space was required. Holes became available throughout the workplace. Sneaking off to drink coffee and chat, reminded Ianto of his sixth-form days, when free-periods were still a novelty which accidentally overran and ate up official lessons too.

"I can't believe I'm actually entering the closet with you." Tosh gently joked.

"Not for long, I think I've found the long-lost key to get out."

"Let's hope so hun."

Even though the chances of them being interrupted were slim, Ianto still doubled-checked the coast was clear and the door was firmly shut, before nervously plonking himself down, on one of the cushions smuggled in to make the spot more comfy.

"So…." Tosh smoothed her skirt down over her knees as she sat crossed-legged on the floor (as though this was story-time); she was keen to make a start.

"So, Owen came to see me after my…."

"Episode, yes I know."

"We chatted and I said some things."

"Such as?"

"That Jack was too close. Too real. He was invading my senses and making my head spin."

"In a good way Yan?"

"At the time I would've said no, but now…" Ianto shook his head softly and smiled serenely, as though recalling something sweet. "Then Jack came to see me too."

"Really?"

"To say thanks." Ianto turned his face away slightly, trying to rein in his happy emotions. "I'd been tidying up his den for him."

Tosh raised her eyebrows, just a teensy bit.

"We chatted, we drank and he stayed."

"Overnight?"

"Uh huh."

"Who made the first move?"

"I'd like to say him, but I think it was me. My hands had found his outline all night, they just didn't tell my brain."

"Did you feel safe, secure?"

Ianto suddenly took an active interest in his shoes. "Mostly."

"Mostly? Why only mostly? Did you have a flashback Yan?"

"Just a small one."

"Oh no, we were afraid of that."

"It was over in a minute, I swear. It didn't stop play for long."

"From the last time?"

"No the first time."

"Oh no!" Tosh reached out and enveloped Ianto in her arms. She cradled him, as she drew small soothing circles on his back. She let a minute move by. "You have to tell him."

"No." Ianto pulled away roughly, jerking himself out of her embrace; afraid and reluctant to contemplate such a thing.

"Ianto hun, if you want this to work. If you want to give this a fair chance, you have to let him know."

Ianto still shuffled away, his head resembling a nodding dog in reverse.

Tosh continued. "It'll only happen again if you don't and next time who knows what will happen?"

"I'd rather take my chances."

"No, that'd be short-sighted Ianto." She paused for breath. "I know it'll be hard but don't you see, coming clean really is the only way."

"He'll think I'm a freak."

"He won't. He'll understand, especially if you paint him the full picture."

"But I like this. I don't want to ruin this."

"You won't, the truth can only make things better. Remember you won't be alone in all this, Owen and I will be right by your side."

Ianto finally looked up. Tears threatened to spill over his bottom lashes.

"This is so new. I don't want to be alone again."

"You won't be. He'll understand. I just know it."

"He'll dump me, just like Lisa. I couldn't bear it."

"Lisa" Tosh said the name with stiffness and disdain "was different, very different. I don't get the same vibe from Jack; he'll cope admirably I'm sure of it."

"Promise?" Ianto sounded very childlike, his face pained.

"You know I would if I could hun." Tosh gave the smallest of smiles in reply to his request. "Just promise me that you'll tell him, ok?"

Ianto paused and but then nodded.

"Good, I'm proud of you."

"I haven't done it yet."

"I know, but you will. If there's one thing I know about you Ianto, it's that you are a man of your word."

"Hmmm" was all Ianto could permit himself to say.

-O-

As they stepped out of the closet, Ianto spotted an incentive on the floor, by the wastepaper bin. Whilst the winning lottery ticket was still registering with his brain, Tosh swooped down and pocketed the discarded lighter, before Ianto had had the chance to see what colour it was.

He did not need any distractions at this point, she calmly reasoned.

Ianto squeezed her hand in thanks.

They silently made their way back to work.

-OOO-

Owen Harper wasn't a lazy man. He would rather be thorough than take short-cuts. When read the fable of the Tortoise and the Hare as a child, he would always root for the Tortoise, whilst his brothers invariably plumped for the Hare.

In the professional arena, Owen was adept at putting systems in place and expecting them to run smoothly.

Recently he had hit a road-block.

His out-of-hours-service.

It seemed to be performing too well. That is to say, in the last three weeks Owen had only been called out three times. On the plus side this meant that he had had more sleep. On the minus side, something didn't feel right and Owen always trusted his feelings.

The doctor felt duty-bound to investigate.

When questioned, his receptionist Traci didn't perceive there to be a problem.

"It's just quiet." She told him.

Owen remained unconvinced. He implemented Plan B.

**Later that night:**

"Dr Harper's Out-of-Hours-Service. How may I help you?"

"May I speak to Dr Harper please?"

"Is it an emergency?"

"Surely he would need to determine that."

"It's just that he only deals with emergencies at this hour. Routine calls need to be made during office hours."

"I'm a patient of his and I'm having a crisis, may I speak with him?"

"Is it a life or death situation sir or could you hold on until 9am?"

"Excuse me!"

"It's just that he's a very busy man and his time is precious. It's not to be wasted."

"I'm mentally-ill, I'm in a critical state, I'd like to be put through immediately."

"We all have our crosses to bear sir, but I'm afraid your self-assessment isn't sufficient to allow me to put you through. You would need a doctor's referral."

"Dr Harper _is_ my doctor!"

"His office hours are 9-5, would you like to call back then?"

Owen had heard enough.

"No Traci Hughes I would not like to call back then."

"Aaah, how do you know my name? Are you one of those stalker thingies? I've got a whistle you know."

"Well I've got your P45 in my hand. Traci, this is Dr Harper, consider yourself fired."

"Sir?"

"You heard me Traci, but if you are hard of hearing, drop by the clinic tomorrow between 9-5 and I will repeat myself during office hours."

Owen disconnected the call.

Mystery solved.

-OOO-

Tosh had been thrilled to hear Ianto's news. In all the time that she had known him, something had always haunted him. Something had always stalked his psyche and his sleep patterns. Until a year ago this spectre had been nameless, but then tucked away, practically under the stairs Ianto had revealed his true self.

Tosh had been so relieved, but it seemed to cause Ianto more stress.

He started drinking.

He started collecting matchboxes.

He disappeared - occasionally.

Recently he had seemed calmer, more jovial, some might say happy.

Now she knew she had Captain Jack to thank for that, she was an extra layer of thrilled.

Even though Jack Harkness was her boss, she felt the desire to congratulate him. She also needed to return his mended watch.

This was where she was heading now. To kill two birds with one stone.

Tosh had only been to Jack's office once before, for her induction. It was difficult to find, situated as it was, almost in the basement, down a labyrinth of corridors, all seemingly leading to the same spot. She had been walking ten minutes already and was sure she had passed this door before.

Then just ahead, she spied Jack. He was carrying a lot of files and his face was obscured. Relieved that she wouldn't have to make it to the centre of this particular Crystal Maze, his name was on the tip of her tongue when, she thought she saw the following.

She _thought_ she saw the wall in front of Jack fold down like a concertina to allow him to step through it, before unfolding itself like a fan; _but that couldn't be true._

Could it?

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	7. Chapter 7

Originally posted: 6/4/13

"I need to talk to you."

"I need to talk to you."

Both Tosh and Owen simultaneously made their pleas to each other.

"Jinx."

"Veins."

"You can't have veins, it's over the phone, I can't see to verify that." Tosh protested.

"You'll just have to take my word for it then." Owen smugly stated.

"Owen please, not today, I really need to tell you something. I haven't got time for secret hand signals and spinning around makes me dizzy."

"Unjinx me then."

"Owen!"

"Go on, the quicker you do it, the quicker you can declare me King."

Tosh let out an exasperated sigh. For some season Owen always brought out her inner child, however many degrees and doctorates she held. With a weary smile (which Owen overheard), she did as she was told.

"I unjinx you. I unjinx you. I unjinx you, oh Lord and Master my King."

Owen released a deep resonant chuckle.

"I wish all my subjects were as obedient as you."

Even though Tosh's anxiety levels were rising by the second, she couldn't banish the smile from her lips.

"How soon can you make it to our coffee shop?" She enquired, a hint of fretfulness in her voice.

"I could be there in fifteen minutes."

"Please can you make it ten?"

"Done."

It is said there is a time for everything under the sun; but as much as Owen Harper loved teasing his long-suffering best friend, he instinctively knew play-time was over for today.

-OOO-

Cardiff was wearing its spring collection, which was very similar to its winter collection, i.e. rain. The chief difference between the two catwalk styles was that spring fever was delivered, with a certain lightness of touch. Even so, Owen was still soaked to the skin when he arrived at the café, nine minutes later.

Toshiko Sato was already seated at a table.

She had ordered.

The waitress and Owen arrived at the secluded table at the same time. She lined up all the drinks in front of Tosh.

Four in total.

"I see we mean business" Owen viewed his double helping of double espressos, with an enquiring eye.

"We'll take no prisoners."

"I like your style." Owen dumped his body on the chair and his broken brolly on the floor beside him, before taking a huge slurp from the nearest cup. He closed his eyes briefly, he loved his coffee.

"So what's occurring? You look a bit stressed." Owen always aimed for the heart of the matter.

"Do you always believe what your eyes are telling you?"

Owen's head jerked up. This was interesting.

"Usually - unless I've been drinking and then no, not on your nelly."

Tosh sighed; she really didn't want to say the words she was about to. She knew they would make her sound like a pubescent girl, still obsessed with a certain teenaged wizard.

"Well I think I saw something very funny yesterday."

"Funny ha-ha or funny peculiar?"

"Peculiar definitely peculiar." Tosh paused, still unsure how to continue. "I was going to visit Jack and…"

"Jack? Jack who?"

"Harkness, my new boss. I've told you about him before."

"Oh him" Owen grunted, unimpressed at the memory.

"So there I was, practically in the basement, and you know how dim the lighting is down there."

"Do I?"

"Well I'm telling you now, it's dim."

Owen's shoulders shook slightly with amusement. Even hyped up on nervous energy, Tosh still refused to let him get away with anything. She was his kind of girl.

"So I thought I saw Jack, _my boss_, just ahead of me."

"You've already said so."

"Owen!"

"Sorry, carry on please, I'm all ears." Owen's input wasn't sabotage, well not vindictive sabotage; it was just that he loved watching the tips of Tosh's ears turn pink, when she was frustrated.

"I was just about to call out to him, when the weirdest thing happened. Well I think it happened. "

Tosh took a sip of her coffee for Columbian courage. "The wall in front of him, appeared to fold down so that he could step through it and then it unfurled itself as though this was normal practice."

Tosh expected her statement to be greeted with silence, stunned amazement even, not laughter. She felt the sting of a slight cut. She had to dig Owen in the ribs to make him stop.

Owen tried to master his apologetic face.

"Tosh are you sure about this? The wall just folded down? The actual wall and not a curtain?"

"That's the whole point Owen "came the hot reply, "I'm not entirely sure. It's nonsensical, unbelievable, outside the realms of science. I can't bring myself to accept it."

Owen had finally managed to still himself. He began to consider the feasibility of this.

"Did this Jack Harkness do anything special or unusual to make this happen? Did he say open sesame or..?"

It was at this point the toe of Tosh's boot made swift contact with his shin.

"Ouch, alright, alright I'll play nicely now I promise. I mean it though Tosh; did he do or say anything obvious to make this happen?"

"Not to the naked eye."

"Did he seem fazed by it?

"No, it was just another Tuesday to him. He didn't bat an eyelid."

"Has anything else weird happened lately?" Owen was now mentally taking notes, serious at last.

Tosh was about to reply in the negative when she remembered the matter of the watch. She filled him in on how time seemed to have flown backwards on Jack's particular time piece.

This struck a chord with Owen.

He then informed Tosh of his revisionist newspaper; of how it appeared to change its mind over what had and hadn't happened the day before.

"When was this?" Tosh was beginning to suspect all the incidences were linked.

"The third of February, why?"

"The day after Ianto's episode."

"The day after Ianto's episode."

Despite the earlier tomfoolery, Owen and Tosh still shared a certain simpatico.

"The reported dead man sounded a lot like Ianto." Owen was stitching the fabric of clues together too.

"Jack said that he'd found Ianto in Splott, just wandering around."

Cogs were beginning to turn.

In the silence that reigned momentarily around the table, their neglected coffees went from cold to freezing.

"What's the lowest common denominator in all this?" It was a question that needed to be asked.

Owen provided the answer.

"Jack bloody Harkness."

The science team's eyes met. The gaze was held. A plan was formed.

-OOO-

Ianto was whistling and he never whistled. Today was turning out to be a good day and he had Jack Harkness to thank for that. In fact, if Ianto had been brave enough, he would have thanked Jack for an ever-growing list of improvements in his life.

He felt he now had security - tick, support - tick, trust- tick, lov… and someone to drive him absolutely bat shit crazy - tick, tick tick.

His ever present smile grew wider.

Ianto cast his mind back to his last date with Jack.

Yesterday.

Jack had picked Ianto up from work, (well he did walk the thirteen floors from his den to Ianto's lab).

He was slightly flushed when he arrived.

Ianto liked the look.

"_Ready?" _

Ianto had nodded. He had had to purse his lips together to stop them independently telling Jack just how much of him, he was ready for.

He licked the memory of a kiss, from his upper teeth.

"_Let's go."_

The date was meant to be a surprise. Jack was in charge of the details.

Ianto was only slightly worried. Already he knew that Jack thought along different lines to everybody else.

They took the lift down.

It stopped between floors.

Ianto eventually climbed into Jack's grubby SUV in an out of breath and dishevelled state.

His grin firmly in place.

He had immediately spotted the picnic hamper on the back seat of the car. It was an unseasonal surprise, but he was ready to go with it.

Jack said he knew a little place, a secluded spot that would be perfect at this time of year. They set off and drove in, what appeared to be circles for an age. Ianto was expecting to see the cityscape recede from his point of view and the countryside open up before him. Instead he saw side-alleys and industrial estates. He was having to re-adjust his idea of romance. Finally at the city's edge he saw a car wash. Jack drove up and drove in.

The contraption started. Giant brushes entombed them as wave after wave of soapy suds surrounded the SUV.

Jack had turned to him.

"_Fancy a bite?"_

"_Pardon?"_

"_Would you care for some refreshment? We could eat the food or…each other ..or both."_

Ianto had had to use all of his brain power to make sense of the previous sentence.

This was their destination?

This was their date?

Jack had shuffled forwards and given him an Eskimo kiss.

"_Hungry?"_

Ianto knew he should have been upset, outraged even, but he was starving.

They climbed awkwardly into the back seat and set about the food - first.

For some reason Ianto found it quite erotic to watch Jack tear enthusiastically into legs of chicken. His reserve was well and truly tested as he followed trails of barbeque sauce as they slithered down Jack's chin and chest. He actually felt something snap, as Jack dipped his fingers into some quince jelly and wiped it along the seam of his lips.

"_Sweet Jesus."_

"_Prayers won't help you here boyo. C'mere."_

Trained to follow orders, Ianto did just that.

He soon began to realise, that some thought and application had gone into the preparation of the picnic hamper that they were now enjoying. He was amazed at how many items had been selected for the purpose of being smeared, slathered or balanced on the body.

Cradling Ianto's upper body, Jack eased Ianto into a prone position. He set to work, creating his masterpiece.

Ianto felt like a human tablecloth.

The American took his time fitting hula hoops to Ianto's fingertips, drizzling honey onto his peaking nipples, scattering dolly- mixture across his rib-cage, adding mayonnaise to his inner thighs, a cherry tomato to his navel and whipped cream to his cock, to which he delicately placed a cherry on top of.

Jack had always championed the savoury and the sweet.

"_Delicious."_

"_If you say so."_

"_Oh I do. Believe me I do."_

Jack knew that the eyes eat too, but now his mouth really needed to be satisfied. He headed for the savoury snacks, Ianto's hands were his first destination. Jack sucked the potato hoops from each and every digit. He licked a line of salt from Ianto's quivering limbs. A rash of goose bumps appeared along his fore-arms, Jack licked those too. He then made his way across to Ianto's belly-button, with a pop he sucked the cherry tomato into his mouth, Rising up he captured Ianto lips in a kiss, which he deepened with the captured fruit. Jack passed the grocery gobstopper back and forth, between Ianto and himself until he squashed it softly against Ianto's startled tongue; sharing the juice and the experience.

Sliding down Jack snaffled up two stray dolly-mixtures from the hollow of Ianto's throat that were making a bid for freedom. Jack's five o' clock shadow elicited a peal of pleasure from the young Welshman.

Jack snuggled closer. He had a request.

"_Touch my wood." _He had growled against Ianto's tender spot, located in the alcove of his neck.

"_You did not just say that to me - that__'__s so cheesy.__" _Ianto had been appalled.

"_Hey Mr Brie, lay off my line, it was working.__"_

"_You sure about that?__"_

"_Your hand stroking me says yes.__"_

"_You just got lucky.__"_

"_Lucky you__'__ll do what I say - yeah.__" _Jack couldn't help but laugh.

"_Well it works both ways Captain. Lay your lips on me."_

"_With relish. I was just thinking it was time for dessert."_

Ianto stretched out further and raised his hips, drawing attention to his cherry. Jack grinned broadly and nodded his head in appreciation.

"_That is a work of art, my piece de resistance, my…"_

Ianto interrupted, _"Just shut up and kiss it sir."_

Jack's mouth had chuckled on its descent.

-OO-

Ianto continued to whistle, he had had some free time on his hands today, as Tosh had been drafted into an urgent project elsewhere. This meant that he had had the opportunity to shop at lunchtime.

It was rare for him to leave the Torchwood facilities during the day, much less shop.

He had brought a present.

For Jack.

It was a blue cashmere jumper. Cobalt blue to match his eyes. Ianto was looking forward to inhaling Jack's scent from it, once he had worn it once or twice, as long he kept it away from any barbeque sauce.

Ianto still felt sticky, where a boy oughtn't to feel sticky after yesterday's escapades. He chose to take this as a sign of how things were progressing between him and Jack.

He was relaxed.

He was confident.

He felt that for the first time in his life, he was in an open and honest relationship. What could be better?

-O-

Today it was Ianto's turn to collect Jack, for his second date in two consecutive days. There was a lightness to his step. He was running a little bit early, but he didn't think that Jack would have a problem with that.

As he neared Jack's door however he heard voices.

Male voices.

"I need you to be focused."

"I am."

"Rubbish Jack. I've seen that look before and it usually means trouble. Boy or girl trouble.

"He's not trouble.."

"So there is a boy."

"Yes. His name's Ianto gorgeous but… You just have to let me worry about that. I can handle this - he doesn't need to know about you."

Ianto stopped in his tracks. Crushed and floored. He broke out into a light sweat.

His heart sat down.

He stopped smiling.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	8. Chapter 8

(Originally posted 27/04/13)

**A/N This chapter is a little darker than most.**

-OOO-

Ianto turned on his heel and walked away. He walked blindly without seeing. He walked without memory. He walked down all the corridors, across all the foyers, past all the laboratories to the outside.

He took the stairs up to the ground floor, in lieu of the lift.

He dropped the cashmere jumper in the bin by the revolving door, on his way out.

He was done.

Once outside the rain lashed down furiously against his forlorn figure; tattooing a damp heartbeat, on top of the stuttering real one, that was trying to beat below his clogged clothing.

Tears painted their way down his hot cheeks. Ianto was too upset to distinguish them from rain.

Upset - that was an understatement. He felt like his soul had just been shot.

He felt like a dead man walking.

Only the fear of disrupting social convention, of making a fuss in public, was holding him upright.

Manners maketh the man.

His father would have been proud.

Blinded by rainwater, or so he thought, Ianto made his way home. In lonely days of yore, he had actually counted how many steps it was from his workplace to his home; both the long and the short way.

Today he threw his OCD blueprint a curve ball; he passed by his two favourite shops. They stood side by side on the glassily smooth pavement.

Kaffeine -was a coffee bean emporium that had the ability to transport Ianto back to the womb, and The Wine Vault - well; it sold exactly what it said on the tin.

Ianto wavered between the two.

The strong pungent aroma of one battled with the crisp, clean barely audible clink of the other.

His throat went dry. His tongue offered an open invitation to both.

His feet pointed in different directions.

His brain did too.

He made a choice.

As much as he would love to curl up in the foetal position, for the rest of the day; the desire to be oblivious to his surroundings was stronger.

Ianto entered the building on his right.

"Hello good to see you again sir." The well-trained shop assistant greeted Ianto heartily. Commission was at stake.

Ianto nodded.

"Would you like your usual order? I can have it ready for you in 5 minutes."

Ianto nodded again.

As promised, within 5 minutes he was carrying a crate of Bordeaux away from the wine merchants, towards his home.

Ianto always bought in bulk. It was cheaper.

-OOO-

The next day dawned too soon and Ianto couldn't decide whether the smog that clung stubbornly to everything, was outside or inside his head.

No matter.

He was adept at navigating his home through screwed-up eyes, and his body parts were where he had left them.

He made his way to work.

-O-

Once there, Ianto was greeted by the worse thing possible.

Laughter.

He seemed to have just missed the punch line of the century, which was living up to its title as everybody and I mean everybody, was clutching their sides, gulping for air, trying not to show all of their fillings, to all of the world, all at once.

Ianto moved through the comedy club un-noticed.

Or so he thought.

-O-

From the semi-moment that the Welshman had entered the room all of Jack's sensors had informed him of his presence. His eyes had followed his hungrily. His head was full of questions. While his soul simply covered its bruise.

Jack would have to cast his mind back several centuries to recall, the last time he had been stood up.

Back then, it hadn't hurt nearly as much.

Strange.

Jack's attention was pulled immediately back to the present. He continued to smile congenially and bob his head. The new employee was proving to be a big hit. Joking aside he was tall, broad, booming and bold. He had stepped into his new shoes with ease and was well on his way, to making them feel like slippers.

Jack liked him.

The feeling was mutual.

Jack and his latest companion needed to make a move. The informal introductions were taking longer than expected and Jack had a full induction schedule to adhere to. Placing a hand between the huge shoulder-blades on offer, the American re-orientated his colleague towards the end of the room that contained Ianto.

Ianto saw them approach. He quickly tried to make an escape, only to find his path blocked by Tosh.

"Tow, do we have any of that green serum left or will I have to make a new batch?" These are the words she said. Ianto didn't hear them. His spirit was screaming in panic.

He felt like his future was on a countdown to oblivion.

_3 2 1, and now they're here._

"Ianto" Jack forgot to include his best friend. "May I introduce you to the new Head of Security, Rhys Williams? Rhys, this is (_my) _Ianto Jones."

"Pleased to meet you." Rhys extended his disproportionately large hand.

Ianto looked down at it and couldn't help but image where it had been on Jack.

"Excuse me." The Welshman brushed aside Rhys' proffered hand and headed quickly to the Gents. He suddenly felt unwell. He really oughtn't to drink so much.

It was left to Tosh to pick up the fragments, of the shattered social niceties and make the new Head of Department feel welcome.

Jack's sensors tried to follow Ianto into the Gents, but he had locked the door.

-OOO-

Owen Harper had friends in low places. Even though he had risen to the ranks of respectable professionalism, his formative years spoke with a different accent. So did his childhood classmates.

He had kept in touch.

On a not-so-regular basis, backs were scratched.

Owen prided himself on being a thorough investigator. If stones needed to be upturned, then he would do it; and if he couldn't, then he knew a man who would.

Captain Jack Harkness was biggest stone he had ever had to look under. He was unsure what he would find there, but for Tosh he was prepared to face anything.

She was a very good friend, after all.

Investigation Day 4:

So far Owen's forage into the enigma that was Captain Jack had proved fruitless. There seemed to be no public records of him. He didn't appear to have a birth certificate or have any educational or medical history; here or abroad. He wasn't on the electoral register, and didn't seem to pay for any utilities.

He wasn't on Facebook either, which was odd.

It was as though he didn't exist.

Rather than spend any more time, bemoaning the fact that he appeared to be chasing Willow-the-Wisp, Owen decided to up the ante and bring in the stealth bombers.

A call was made.

A promise was secured.

A date was set.

Now all Owen had to do was contact his partner-in-crime and convey the stipulations.

Easily done?

-OOO-

Never had Jack Harkness enjoyed a first day more. The day had just flown by and he had achieved next to nothing on his to-do list. Showing Rhys Williams around had actually taken half the day. He had had a good word for everyone he met and they had replied in kind. This had naturally led to a lengthy liquid lunch, which had made the allocation of passwords, pin numbers and security badges a moot point by four-thirty.

A clear head was needed for this. There wasn't one between the two.

So before it was needed, a hair of the dog was taken at Jack's desk; and another.

The third hair had led to some joshing, which had led to some banter, which had led to some banter with horse-play, followed by horse-play and wrestling, wrestling with laughter.

It was at this point that Ianto had walked by Jack's always open door.

The point when Jack's hands were filled to capacity with Rhys' bulging biceps.

There was an awkward pause, before the patter of large feet became a roar.

"Ianto wait!"

Jack's bellow fell on deliberately deaf ears.

He went to go after him.

"Leave him." Now Rhys had hold of his arm. "Leave it."

Jack made a split second decision to obey.

He was sober now.

-O-

"Ianto wait!"

_WAIT! You've got a bloody nerve Jack. I wish I couldn't hear you. I wish we didn't share the same language!_

Ianto couldn't believe that he was experiencing a duplicate deja-vu scenario, so soon after Jack's last indiscretion.

_The man has no manners._

_Another reason for my father to hate him._

Ianto bumped into three of his colleagues on his flight from his superior. Each abrupt body to body contact, hammered home his obvious emotional pain, just that little bit more. Each injection of rejection wounded him as effectively as poison.

Knowing that he was incapable, the paving slabs carried him homeward with pinpoint precision.

Cardiff looks after its own.

Flustered beyond repair, Ianto fought to insert the right key in the right lock, in his defensive door. He practically fell through his portal.

His reflex let him down too. He ripped his jacket from his furious frame and aimed it at its usual hook.

He missed.

Lurching with intent, Ianto made his way to his kitchen. The answer to all his problems lay within.

He chose his best glassware, _why shouldn't he treat himself? _He chose the best vintage available. _Ditto._

He picked up a knife, sometimes the synthetic labels could prove troublesome. He sashayed his way to-wards his lounge. The sofa was his.

It was as though someone had set him a challenge; Ianto couldn't open the bottle quickly enough.

A small measure soon became a large measure, soon became what the hell? The Welshman soon drained his glass and suggested and accepted a refill from himself.

_One should never drink alone. I'm not _Ianto thought, _I'm here with my misery, we make good bed-fellows._

It was safe to say that Ianto had waved goodbye to Mr Rational, a while ago.

Within a tube minute, he was making his way back to his wine rack for another bottle. He chose the '06 that had been a good year - apparently.

Stepping around the synthetic spirals that now littered the lounge floor, Ianto perched on the strong end of his sofa to open his latest cache of relief-aid.

He stabbed at the seal of his new best friend. His knife was making no head-way. He twisted the serrated edge, to gain purchase.

The knife slipped.

It sliced his wrist.

Deeply.

Ianto should have watched with horror, as his blood bubbled up and over the new flap of skin created by said knife. He should have winced at the sharp pain that began to spread horizontally across his limb.

Instead he stared in fascination as the blood began to flow down his arm with grace, and drip elegantly off his elbow.

He decided to help.

He picked up the blade and began to slice at his forearm. He felt like a doctor, making his first incision during an operation. An operation that would bring respite from an excruciatingly painful problem. Being a junior doctor, he experimented with his style. He dug deep. He skimmed the surface too. He finally settled on a criss-cross pattern, which allowed him to make each tear twice.

He felt nothing but calm.

He was at peace.

It was as though a profound secret of the universe had just been revealed to him.

He felt honoured.

He eventually poured himself another drink. Extreme thirst had crept up on him. He marvelled at the similarities between what he was pouring into himself and what was seeping out of him.

Ruby richness all around.

Acknowledging that the devil is in the detail, Ianto went in search of a razor blade. He wanted to inscribe more intricate patterns that a steak knife just couldn't aspire to.

Finding three, Ianto set to work. He had the whole evening ahead of him and no palatable reason to stop.

He sat on the floor this time. His bloodied wineglass forgotten.

-OOO-

Jack Harkness was alone. He was sitting at his desk with his head in his hands, wondering at just how quickly his perfect day had crumbled into dust.

He had dismissed Rhys Williams. It was the most responsible decision he had made all day; and yet he felt it wasn't enough.

_Never mix business with pleasure._

_Never mix business with pleasure. _

This was his centuries-old mantra that he had ignored, yet again. It beggared belief that he could be so stupid - again.

He had tried to get hold of Ianto, but it was as though he had decided to slip off the planet.

Jack had checked this too, but all his sources told him Ianto was still earth-bound.

_Drip._

_Drip._

Jack felt something small but wet hit the crown of his head.

_Drip._

He looked up. He couldn't see any obvious leak.

_Drip._

This time Jack had reflexively moved backwards just as the newest droplet had descended.

_Splash._

It had landed.

On his desk.

It looked like blood. Jack bent his head to inspect the spot closer.

He frowned, bemused.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	9. Chapter 9

(Originally posted 15/05/13)

-OOO-

This was becoming a habit.

Waking up with what felt like the Grand National running between his ears. Ianto let out a groan, which reverberated alarmingly around the race course, where his brain used to live. He tried to remember all the details of the previous evening, but his memory failed at the final furlong.

There had been wine, of that he was sure.

There had been crystal. Broken crystal. Ianto vaguely recalled crunching a favoured goblet underfoot. Unusually for him, he had not cleared away the debris straight away. Annoyance settled upon the shoulders of a competing jockey. Now Ianto only had 5 goblets left of this particular set.

He hated odd numbers.

Wearily he raised his left hand to sweep his in-need-of-a -trim fringe out of his eyes.

_Jesus H Ouch._

Now he remembered.

There had been blood.

-O-

Slowly Ianto gently held his arm aloft. Even more slowly he brought the now throbbing limb into view. The flesh on the underside of forearm was now patterned with tiny xxs. The top layer of skin was still fluid. The xxs were opening and closing their mouths like fish underwater, talking silently to each other.

The longer Ianto stared, the pinker the fabric of his arm became. The bleeding lessons had not been forgotten.

_Here comes the goody bag._

Always the diva, mistress pain made her entrance last. She set up a dull but insistent rhythm with her heels and hands, which Ianto instinctively knew would accompany him all day.

Ianto felt a little bit faint. Kind of woozy. He wanted to lie down. Only he already was.

He threw his head back against his pillow and released another groan.

Today had _trying _written all over it.

-OOO-

Toshiko Sato wasn't really a touchy-feely type of girl. She preferred hard facts and statements to instincts and hunches. If she could see it, touch it, read it and refute it, she was a happy camper.

Only sometimes a different approach was needed. Sometimes it was necessary to (and she hated this phrase) step outside the box and do some blue sky thinking.

Ordinarily the thought made her shudder; but life wasn't being ordinary at the moment.

Captain Jack Harkness was beginning to rise through the ranks, of what Tosh considered to be indefinable.

Increasingly, whenever he was near, Tosh began to feel that something was afoot. Something was different.

Good different or bad different, she couldn't quite put her finger on and this un-nerved her.

Of course she still had the little matter, of the concertina wall to keep her awake at night. She still thought about this, she did, but now Captain Jack's mere presence was beginning to concern her more.

Take yesterday for example. When Jack had introduced the new Head of Security to just Ianto,

_(he seemed to have forgotten my name)._

Tosh got the _distinct impression _that Jack had been trying to hold Ianto in his arms, even though they did not move from his side. When Ianto had rushed from the room suddenly, Tosh _felt_ that Jack had actually stepped forward to prevent him leaving, even though he hadn't moved a muscle.

This.

Was.

Weird.

No?

The trouble was Tosh didn't feel she could broach the subject with her best friend. How does one tactfully say _I think your boyfriend is strange,_ and remain on good terms? No, the only person Tosh felt she could unburden herself to was Owen Harper.

However that option, stirred up all sorts of feelings too.

-OOO-

Ianto liked to think of himself as mild-mannered. Never one to make a fuss. He liked to think that he bore the slings and arrows of everyday life with aplomb. He didn't play to the gallery, he was more of an emotional shock-absorber, soaking up life's negativity and dealing with it later… much later.

This is what he liked to think.

However the reality of the situation was that Ianto had _episodes. _Little and not-so-little events, that provided emotional and psychological relief. He had a body-clock that ticked to its own rhythm. An internal safety-valve that relieved itself with a frequency that was increasing.

Not that Ianto was fully aware of this - yet.

-O-

Today Ianto dressed with added care. His flesh wounds necessitated that he wear his dark red shirt. He rolled the sleeves down and fastened his workaday cufflinks, more precisely than he usually did. He was beginning to accommodate the needling pain, which lay beneath the pressed cotton.

Accommodate but not tolerate.

He felt drained before his day had properly begun.

-O-

Ianto spirits rose as soon as he entered his lab. Tosh was there to greet him.

"Hey you"

Ianto smiled wanly, he bent down and wrapped his arms gingerly around his early morning tonic and buried his face in her sleek and shiny hair.

"Hey yourself. You're here early."

"I know, I've been volunteered." Tosh still on tiptoe seemed reluctant to end the hug.

"Volunteered?" Ianto quirked an eyebrow. "What's going on?"

Finally letting go, Tosh patted a seat next to the bench where they worked. Ianto sat. They were at eye-level now.

"Well it seems that it's all change at Torchwood Centraal these days."

"Meaning?"

"Meaning hunny bun, our dynamic duo is set to become a threesome."

"Excuse me?" Ianto looked horrified. The rug under his feet was being tugged at.

"Yes we've got a new girl starting today. She comes highly recommended. Her name's Gwen. Gwen Cooper."

Ianto swayed slightly with the shock. He wasn't anywhere near his smooth, cool, granite-like usual self.

His façade had been chipped at recently and he felt his foundations faltering.

"Does she have to join our team, what's wrong with Gareth's?"

Tosh laughed lightly and shook her head. She was used to Ianto's slow-burn approach to change.

"She's considered an asset. Very deductive, apparently and a transfer from the police force. She's a scientific late-bloomer."

Ianto released his third groan of the day.

"Tow stop behaving like Just William and give the girl a chance."

Tosh gave Ianto's arm a friendly shove. He flinched more than he should have.

"Wait, what was that?"

"Nothing."

"Are you hurt Tow?"

"It's nothing, leave it."

"Is that blood on your sleeve?"

"It's minor. I just cut myself shaving."

Tosh wrinkled her brow. "Shaving your wrists?"

Ianto then did something he had never ever done before. He lied to his best friend.

"Yes."

Tosh jerked her head as the word bounced off her ear-drums. She heard the lie, but couldn't fathom the reason why. It was as though their friendship had encountered a rift.

-OOO-

Gwen Cooper entered the laboratory at 08:59 precisely. Tall, dark and curvaceous, she was easy on the eye, make no mistake.

Tosh greeted her warmly and introduced her to her slightly sullen lab partner.

"Gwen Cooper." The new addition extended her hand.

"Jones. Ianto Jones." The established employee did not.

Quickly smoothing over the millisecond of awkwardness, Tosh sent Ianto on an errand to make coffee, hoping that the reviving properties of the beverage, would work their magic on him.

Ianto left the room willingly.

Upon his return, Ianto's eyes relayed a sight to him that his brain retched to receive.

Jack Harkness had entered the room and was playing the genial host - a little too well. He had his arm around Gwen Cooper's waist and he was laughing.

They were laughing.

Hair was being swished (Gwen's not Jack's).

Heads were being thrown back (Gwen and Jack's).

Chests were being patted flirtatiously (just Jack's).

Generally a good time was being had by all.

Ianto watched with a green-flavoured heart.

He set the tray of drinks down on the bench in front of him and left the room - again.

-O-

In the Gents once more (his new home from home), Ianto splashed cold water on his face. The rapid repetitive movement made his forearm itch incessantly. A flame was beginning to inch up his body.

He stared at his face in the mirror.

It looked drawn.

The unyielding florescent strip lighting highlighted the dark shadows under his eyes and drew attention to the deepening lines on his forehead. Ianto felt as though he had aged five years in a day.

Receding looks aside; the Welshman knew he had to come up with a plan, to see off this latest interloper.

One was an annoyance.

Two was a downright threat.

Ianto gave it some thought and then he smiled.

-OOO-

Gwen Cooper was having a great day so far. Usually first days were nerve-wracking. Bonds needed to be established. Faces needed to be memorised. Quirks needed to be noted.

Everything was so new.

Yet here at Torchwood, everything felt incredibly familiar already, as though she had been here before.

This was where she was meant to be.

The people that she had met so far had been friendly, except one. She had had a laugh and a joke with everyone, except one; and she really liked her boss.

A lot.

Captain Jack Harkness was tall, dark and handsome. He seemed like a throwback from a bygone age. He was suave, sophisticated, with just a hint of naughtiness and a sexy American accent. What was not to like?

He appeared to like her too.

Bonus.

New job, new playmate.

A little workday fun always made the time pass more quickly. If they were both willing and no-one got hurt, what harm could it do?

It was a win-win situation.

All she had to do now was to make her play.

-OOO-

Ianto Jones re-entered the room all sweetness and light.

A scowling schoolboy had left.

A smiling cherub had returned.

There was no sign of Jack. He made his way over to Gwen.

"Hi I'm Ianto" he held out his hand in invitation, "my hand was covered in bat juice, earlier occupational hazard," he shook her's, "pleased to meet you."

"Oh" Gwen seemed a bit surprised, "well I'm still Gwen, Gwennie-the-pooh to my friends. It's nice to meet you too."

Gwen gave Ianto a side-ways glance. His looks really did improve when he smiled. He was almost cute.

Ianto knew he was being carefully scrutinised. He made his smile broader.

"I know it can be daunting on your first day. If you need any help at all, just give me a shout. I'll be happy to help."

Gwen looked relieved, actually she needed help already. Even though she had been given the passwords to get into Torchwood's U.N.I.T computer system, this vital piece of information had flown in one ear and out the other.

"Thank you." She let a moment pass. "Actually could you tell me the password to get into the system again? I can't read my own writing." Gwen flicked a brand-new note-pad in front of Ianto's face briefly.

Ianto smiled internally.

"Yes of course it's WEEVILS. Block capitals, our system is case sensitive."

"Thanks again."

"Don't mention it."

Ianto turned his back while Gwen tapped away at her inherited keyboard.

"W. E. E. "She was one of those who's voice box and brain worked in tandem. "Are there two e's or three in Weevils?"

Tosh overheard this enquiry and came rushing over from her bench.

"STOP! Don't type any more of that word."

Gwen looked up, puzzled.

"Why not?"

Leaning over Gwen, Tosh carefully deleted the characters already present on her screen.

"That is our Doomsday password. Type in that word and our entire system will think that we are under attack and will shut down, and put itself in lockdown for seven days, while it scans all our data and files."

Tosh looked panicked. Ianto hid his features.

Gwen recovered well.

"Silly me, I must've read my notes wrong. My handwriting's terrible. I should've been a doctor. So what is the correct password?"

"Myfanwy, it's the name of our founder's pet."

"Ah that's sweet. I'll be sure to remember that in future."

"Please do." Tosh shook her head as she walked away. Normally she wouldn't be dealing with this sort of thing un-fortified. Normally she would have had a coffee by now. She shot Ianto's back a look. It was not like him to forget things. Today was definitely taking on a different hue.

-OOO-

"She's new."

"I know she's new, but it's such a big mistake to make."

"It's her first day, cut her some slack."

"She came highly recommended too, can't see why."

Tosh and Ianto were sitting in their usual places, taking in their usual view in the cafeteria at lunch-time.

"Listen little t, starting a new job is always a bit over-whelming, she's probably suffering from a bit of cotton-wool head. You'll see. Next week she'll be brilliant."

"Not sure I can wait that long." Tosh knew she was being tetchy and that Gwen Cooper wasn't really the root cause of her current mood; but right now she needed a cat to kick and Gwen was purring beautifully.

-OOO-

On the way back to their desks Ianto and Tosh bumped into Gwen looking a bit flustered and lost. Tosh quickly excused herself and nipped into the Ladies.

Gwen and Ianto faced each other. A small silence descended.

"Sorry about earlier."

"It's not a problem."

"I always get those two passwords mixed up for some reason."

"Really it's not an issue."

"Thanks for not saying anything." Ianto looked genuine.

"What are friends for?"

"Where are you off to now?" Good manners were creeping up on Ianto, despite his earlier mood.

"I need to find H.R. All my security photos have to be taken."

"H.R. is on the top floor." It was. "These lifts go there, but they're slow. Why don't you take these stairs on your right, follow them to the top, go through the heavy double doors and you'll be there. It'll save you time and you won't be claustrophobic either."

Gwen paused; she had trusted this guy last time and look where that had got her. She was normally a good judge of character, but she was finding Mr Jones a little hard to read. She looked at her watch. It was 13.58. Her appointment was at 14.00. Her decision had been made for her. If she wanted to be on time, she was going to have to shake a leg.

"Just up these stairs you say?"

"Uh huh."

"Great." With that she was off.

Ianto noted that even though she was wearing heels, she still ran with speed.

Impressive.

-OOO-

During the clinicians' coffee break, Gwen Cooper returned. She looked flushed but happy. Apparently the staircase that she had mounted with speed had led to the rooftop and not directly to H.R. She did not fully realise this until after the heavy double doors had shut fast behind her.

She was trapped.

Momentarily.

Unable to keep her cool she had begun to assault the doors with her mouth, fists and feet. The racket had disturbed a figure, which had been standing alone on the roof, surveying the great expanse that was Cardiff.

Captain Jack Harkness had been lost in thought; until his reverie had been shattered by some choice and imaginative swear words.

He would have to ponder his dilemma later.

Gwen had been relieved to discover, that Jack had a knack for opening the fortress like barriers. He had led her downstairs and had bought her a coffee to help her get over her temporary ordeal.

He had stayed with her throughout.

They had chatted (and flirted), a bit.

Dropping her off at H.R. afterwards, he had acted like a gentleman and had made apologies on her behalf.

Gwen Cooper then went on to tell her box-fresh colleagues that Jack Harkness was not only a dreamboat; but in her opinion, completely lush too.

Ianto Jones's emerald heart burst into flames.

-OOO-

Owen Harper was a very busy man. Supervising the management of a myriad of patients' minds, did not leave him with much free time.

Hobbies and pet projects had to be squeezed into his timetable, on an ad hoc basis.

So aiming to multi-task, (a little trick that he had picked up from Toshiko), Owen resolved to remove a recently acquired splinter from his finger and speak on the phone to his best friend.

Tosh's phone rang for ages at his end. They had had discussions about this before; apparently she only received three rings before it went to voicemail, whereas Owen had time to recite the Lord's Prayer twice if he had wanted to.

He made a start on his splinter. It being in his right hand, Owen had to hold the tweezers in his left.

Precision was not going to be a part of this process.

He started digging. Despite the fact that Owen Harper had held a scalpel more than once in his lifetime, he was surprisingly squeamish, when it came to splitting his own skin.

It was a medical fact that Owen was annoyed to discover was true, it is always the smallest injuries that cause the most pain. As Owen delved beneath the second layer of skin, he had water in his eyes and a yelp on his lips.

"Hello?"

"Aaah um."

"Hello?!" Tosh wasn't sure she was correctly connected.

"Shit arrgh fuck."

"I'm sorry do I know you?"

Having spliced far deeper than he intended, Owen was now bleeding profusely and panting heavily into the handset, which was beginning to slip from his grasp.

"You've got the wrong number you pervert. I'm cutting you off now and calling the police."

"No Tosh wait, it's me. Owen."

"Owen! What is the matter with you!? Is this some sort of sick joke?"

"No, don't hang up. I've cut my finger and I'm bleeding."

"Bleeding annoying."

"Thanks for your sympathy."

"You're welcome."

"Hang on a minute; let me get a bandage for my cut and I'll be right with you."

Tosh listened as Owen made a drip trail to the supply cupboard and back. Packages were rumbled and plastic was attacked with teeth. Soon Owen sounded a little less breathless and a lot more in control.

"So I spoke with my friends" he continued.

"Which friends?"

"_Those friends."_

"Oh I see." Tosh nodded her head, even though she knew Owen couldn't see her.

"They said no problem is too big, as long as we can get hold of some DNA."

"DNA?"

"Yes, a hairbrush, a toothbrush, a used cotton-bud, anything really. Do you think you could do this?"

Tosh paused for thought. She wasn't a natural cat-burglar, but in this case, she would make an exception.

She would snoop amongst Jack's belongings, for the higher good.

"Of course. No problem. Leave it to me. It'll be my mission and I choose to accept it."

"Good girl. Now get off my phone, I'm losing a limb here."

"Such cheek!"

Even though Tosh scoffed and tutted aloud, she did as she was told. Time was of the essence.

-OOO-

Whilst Tosh was preoccupied on the phone, Ianto made his way back to his now familiar parlour.

Staring at his reflection was fast becoming his new hobby. He took deep breaths to steady his jangling nerves. Gwen was closer to rather than further away from Jack.

There must be a flaw in his plan.

He couldn't think what.

He had tried to discredit her abilities, lose her, yet still she recovered with grace. There was only one thing for it.

He would have to remove her.

As Ianto stepped away from the mirror in front of him, he was alarmed by the expression that was currently resident on his face. He had only seen it once before.

On that night.

-O-

Normally Ianto liked to plan. He liked to know exactly what was going to happen, at exactly what point.

Today was different. Today Ianto was having to take his chances, as they presented themselves to him.

Like now.

Trailing his fingers along the wall on his way back to his lab, Ianto bumped into an invitation. Without thinking Ianto r.s.v.p-ed. His fingers stroked his new best friend and then smashed it.

Alarm bells rang out.

Literally.

The shrill shriek of the Fire Alarm brought everyone into the corridor. Including Gwen.

Looking panicked and confused she sought guidance. From Ianto.

Standing in the middle of the vortex, Ianto was able to calmly tell her where their assembly point was. Theirs was separate from the others, so she would have to follow his instructions carefully.

Gwen seemed to be holding up well, until the sprinklers kicked in. There's something about resembling a wet rodent that tends to upset most women.

Gwen meekly followed Ianto down the stairs, comforted by his presence, until he turned back, knowing it was against the rules, to retrieve his briefcase.

-O-

Everyone was assembled.

Names were being taken.

Everyone was there.

Except Gwen.

-O-

Slinking off, Ianto went to admire his handiwork. He walked towards the bins, by the edge of the car-park.

What he saw there did not make his day.

There was Gwen.

Soaking wet.

Her white blouse now thoroughly see-through, due to his stunt.

There was Gwen.

Talking to Jack.

Accepting his offer of a lift.

There was Gwen.

Being driven away.

Snuggling in, making herself more comfortable.

There was Gwen.

Alone with Jack.

-OOO-

Ianto wanted to pluck out his eyes and donate them to charity.

He wanted to spontaneously combust.

Never had he had a plan fail.

Never.

He left the car-park and trudged his way along the street. He was looking for solace, redemption, oblivion. He found the key to all of the above, in his favourite toyshops. Dipping into one allowed him to slip into the other with a lighter step. Hours disappeared in his company, before aided and abetted by copious amounts of wine, Ianto decided to carry out his brightest idea of the day.

-O-

He returned to work.

He made his way to Jack's den.

The den was napping lightly.

Ianto entered through the open door, on feet that could not be described as steady. He shut the door behind him. Damp and dejected, he dumped his briefcase on the floor and set to work.

Jack had reverted back to his messy ways. There were papers everywhere.

Good.

Ianto began to screw up and scrunch together sheet after sheet. He left them in hastily arranged funeral pyres around the room.

The den woke up. Annoyed at being disturbed.

Once Ianto had at least ten piles to play with, he reached for his family-sized box of matches that he had purchased. He started to set light to his paper pebbles, much to the horror of the den.

_Excuse me, what do you think you're doing?_

The den may only be a girl, but she was not averse to fighting with boys.

As Ianto moved from stack to stack, the den gently blew out the burgeoning flames created by the previous match. Ianto was too preoccupied to notice.

The room began to fill with smoke, but not flames. This eventually began to puzzle Ianto. Thinking that he had bought a duff box of matches (tools, workman, bad), he re-doubled his efforts to entice a blaze into the bunker.

The den had to up her game.

So she flooded herself.

Again.

Ianto started to notice a squelching sound as he moved. He looked down. He couldn't quite believe it. Water was seeping in from somewhere. His socks were soaking. His feet were beginning to slide in his handmade shoes. Determined to achieve at least one successful outcome, Ianto sought fresh fuel. He spotted it. Up high. Jack had dry review files on the top shelf of his bookcase; all he had to do was reach out for them.

He may have to climb.

He started to.

The den went from being annoyed to outraged.

_What have I ever done to you?_

In a well-timed move, the den deliberately broke the shelf that Ianto was balanced on and as he fell, she aimed a heavy chair at the back of his head.

She needed him out of action.

Quickly.

Ianto didn't know what had hit him.

For a light guy, he went down heavy.

-O-

Now contrary to popular belief the den actually liked Ianto. He was beautiful to behold, made aromatic coffee and made Jack happy, so she now had a dilemma on her hands - so to speak. Unfazed, (she was a modern girl of sorts) she decided to use the social media, to alert Jack Harkness of the current situation.

The den swiftly took a picture of Ianto and sent it to Jack's mobile via Instagram.

He should have it within seconds.

As long as he checked his messages.

The den now settled back to watch over Ianto, as his nostrils slowly filled with water.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	10. Chapter 10

(Originally posted 28/05/13)

-OOO-

Jack Harkness was not exactly known for his introspection. He could honestly count the amount of times he had examined his own navel on three hands. By nature he was a bold, brash up an' at 'em type of guy.

He expected life to go well for him and on the whole it did.

Saving the odd drama or two.

The odd cataclysmic war.

The odd alien evacuation.

Nothing he couldn't handle.

None of these dented his confidence in any way. None of them gave him a moment of self-doubt.

Yet here he was, in his (now clean) SUV speeding away from Cardiff, with what he could only describe as apprehension taking up space in his belly.

It was unusual for Jack to think outside of his own skin, but he now had good cause to.

His man was unhappy.

Ianto was unhappy.

-O-

Jack's first clue had been the non-date. Ianto and he had made firm plans to meet after their first official date, but Ianto had ran away, failing to return, after he had seen what he had seen.

It wasn't what it looked like.

Not really.

Only Jack hadn't had the chance to explain.

He had tried to reach out to Ianto, in every possible way; but his psyche had blocked him at every turn.

Jack was well aware of the fact, that this was Ianto's first forage into the world of same-sexiness. He knew it could be overwhelming; and Ianto was proving to be a bit of a fragile flower. He had to bear this in mind.

Still the distance, physical, emotional and psychological remained.

There had been no contact and only fleeting glances for over a week now.

Jack had always maintained that a problem wasn't really a problem, until it interrupted your sleep.

Jack hadn't slept for three nights.

Step forward: Operation Divulgence. The Let's Unravel Ianto Show.

Jack may not have been the most perceptive bunny in the hutch, but he knew when to ask for help.

He was asking now.

Loud and clear.

-O-

Being the boss had its advantages. He had access to information. Personal information. That morning Jack had gone straight to Ianto's personnel file, to glean as many details as he could. He had found Ianto's I.C.E. (in case of emergency) number. It belonged to his sister.

_Ianto had a sister?_

Jack had rung it and had arranged to meet, sooner rather than later.

He knew this plan of action was reckless, but the sense of urgency and dread that he felt was increasing. He needed to touch the core of Ianto and if he had to use insider knowledge to do it. He would.

-OOO-

Even if no-one had told Jack Harkness that the woman standing in front of him was Ianto Jones's sister, he'd had known. The likeness was uncanny. They both shared a fullness of cheek, that Jack would have recognised anywhere; even in the dark. The brightness of the eyes was the same too; only his sister's were smoky grey rather than a brilliant blue.

His first impression was that of like.

She seemed pleased to see him too.

She led him through the doorway of a modest semi-detached villa, in a homely residential street.

Her name was Davies. Rhiannon Davies (nee Jones).

Jack took a seat in the middle of the sofa (also a Chesterfield), while Rhiannon fussed around him good-naturedly, presenting tea, biscuits and scones before him.

They talked. Small talk. Everything was light and convivial. Rhiannon smiled a lot; but the smile didn't quite reach her eyes.

She was tense.

Worried.

Only Jack could answer the question held captive in her eyes.

For a while, the words continued to flow from her mouth; but suddenly mid-sentence Rhiannon stopped. She bowed her head and wrung her hands together. The picture of confidence - not.

"I'm sorry, but who did you say you were again?"

"I'm Captain Jack Harkness. Ianto's boss."

Rhiannon winced at the final word. Her voice dropped to a whisper.

"He's not in any trouble is he?"

"No, no. Nothing like that. This is more of a social call."

"A social call." Rhiannon echoed Jack, but there was mild incredulity in her equally beautiful vowels. "Do you visit the relatives of all your staff?"

Jack was taken aback, briefly. She was direct. Obviously this was a familial trait.

"Well no, not as a rule. Ianto is well…special. He's more of a friend. Definitely more than a colleague."

Jack wasn't sure how much he should reveal. Was he completely part of Ianto's _other life_ or had some emotional leakage occurred throughout the years? It was difficult to tell.

Rhiannon was proving to be a hard book to read.

Like her brother.

"You're new you say?"

"Relatively. I've been at this particular branch of Torchwood, for a little under six months now.

Since my arrival, Ianto has been of great help bedding me in."

"He approached you?"

"In a manner of speaking. I like to meet all my staff personally and the last on my list was Ianto. That's where you find the best they say."

"You said you're friends…"

Jack was swift with his reply. "Yes."

"Is he still very …..hesitant?" Rhiannon felt uncomfortable mentioning this attribute, as though she was breaking a confidence; but she also felt as though she could trust this American, with the easy charm and matinee idol good looks.

Jack was wary with his response. "Professionally I cannot fault Ianto. He is the most knowledgeable person in the building. He is generous, articulate and commands respect. I don't mind telling you, he is the power behind the throne."

"So is he very different on a more personal level?"

_She's sharp this one._

Jack swallowed. He felt he needed more than tea at this point.

"He's a little more reticent, closed-off. I wondered if you would know of any reason for that?"

"You'd need to know because you're …just friends? "

"Exactly. We're close." Jack swallowed once again, but this time his eyes didn't meet Rhiannon's. He couldn't let them. He knew they would talk too much.

Rhiannon's brow furrowed. Jack could almost hear the scales of her conscience, weighing up all the considerations, of what her lips were about to tell him.

"Ianto has always preferred his own company to that of anyone else's. He's always been a lone star. Mum used to say, that he shone in his own firmament and that it would take a very special space traveller, to find and love him. They were very close. Has he mentioned her to you?"

Jack cleared his increasingly dry throat, "not yet."

Rhiannon looked surprised at that. She debated whether to go on. How close was close?

"While he was close to mum, the same cannot be said for dad and him."

"They didn't get along?"

"You could say that. There was friction." Rhiannon sighed. "Things were always tense."

"Any particular reason?"

Rhiannon looked down. Jack noticed moisture glistening in the crevice of her inner eye. He outwardly gave her time to compose herself, but inwardly he was impatient to know more. To expedite matters Jack scanned her mind. He could only detect compassion, confusion, love and regret.

He left her thoughts.

Rhiannon shook her head, a tear fell. She seemed to have just experienced the quickest tension headache of all time.

Strange.

"My dad wasn't Ianto's dad. Ianto's dad (a master tailor), died when Yan was a year old. Mum re-married and had me. My dad and he never really gelled. Mum always said that Yan was very much like his own dad, fastidious and quiet in nature. I think my dad saw too much of his dad in him too.

They battled silently for years.

Yan wasn't the son he'd ordered. He wasn't one for Rugger and sports. He didn't want to be a soldier or a fireman. He liked outer space, aliens, other worlds and James Bond.

All things imaginary.

I think I benefited from this cold war. I was encouraged to run wild and be as loud as I liked.

I took advantage.

Only things got worse after mum died."

"I'm sorry to hear that, my condolences."

"Thank you. I was five; Yan must've been about eight. What had been covert became overt. Yan could barely stand to be in the same room as dad. I'd often run past him hidden away in the smallest nook of the house, reading Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. He wanted to become the smallest thing possible. I think he thought if he couldn't be seen, then dad would forget all about him.

He didn't."

"Did they ever resolve their differences?"

Another tear fell.

"No not at all. There was an almighty bust up."

"Oh?"

"I'm not sure of the details, but Yan went missing for three nights and when he returned he was livid. It was the only time I'd ever heard him raise his voice. He was screaming and swearing at dad and dad, this I remember because it was so strange, dad just took it. He didn't retaliate in any way."

"What happened?"

"I've no idea, but Yan left that very night. He just vanished. Dropped out of school. Everything. Just disappeared."

"Did he keep in touch with you?"

"Nope. The next time I heard from him was after my dad died. He returned and took charge; arranged the funeral and sorted out his affairs like a loving dutiful son. No-one knew the difference.

Except me."

"Typical Ianto." Jack gave a weak smile. He felt sad for the young man he never knew.

Rhiannon shifted in her seat.

"I think dad left him the house by way of an apology. He wasn't good with words, but I think he did regret his actions, in the end."

"So he died hoping for forgiveness?"

"I think so." Rhiannon curled a wisp of her hair between her finger and thumb. "I hope so."

Jack took in the whole tableau before him. Ianto's sister was like a post-modern Rubens' model. She had the same ripeness and sanguine appeal of "Woman with a mirror", (she had been called Margherita by the way, pleasant woman, but she lacked confidence) but now hope shone in Rhiannon's eyes. He could tell that she longed for a reconnection with her missing brother. To put the past behind them and to step out into the sunshine together.

"I'm sure Ianto got the message."

Rhiannon smiled. She reached forwards and squeezed Jack's hand. Her touch lingered.

"Captain Jack…" she searched his pupils wanting to leave a message, "next time you see Ianto," it was now her turn to swallow awkwardly "tell him I don't mind, really I don't. I'd never judge. Tell him, I just want him to be happy."

_As a tack._

Jack could've kissed her on both cheeks.

He didn't.

"I will" he whispered, "you bet your bottom dollar I will."

As Rhiannon stood to see her guest out, crumbs and misunderstandings fell from her lap. She shook her skirt and her soul free.

As Jack hugged his host goodbye, he realigned her chakras to provide her with peace. It was the least he could do.

-OOO-

Toshiko Sato had dressed for the part. Not being entirely sure of what the cat-burglar du jour was wearing these days, Tosh had gone for an all-black ensemble. It was classic and understated she thought.

As the night marauder made her way through the maze of corridors that camouflaged Jack's office, she tried not to think about how scared she was, how this could end her current career and jeopardise any future one.

She had timed her mission to perfection. She had memorised the security guards timetable and knew that she had precisely seventeen minutes, before this floor would be of interest to them again.

Plenty of time to get what she needed.

Barring accidents.

As Tosh approached Jack's door, she thought she heard what can only be described as a lullaby, coming from within. A very soft sweet voice could be heard over the sound of gently lapping waves. Instantly Tosh was transported back to her childhood holidays; to ice creams and sandcastles on the sand. It was an effort for her to re-focus.

In hindsight Tosh realised that red flags had abounded aplenty.

The singing.

The waves.

The fact that Jack's door had been closed.

Upon opening the door, Tosh was struck by two things simultaneously.

One: Her feet and ankles were now soaking wet.

Two: Ianto was lying bleeding and unconscious on his side amongst the waves.

"IANTO! IANTO."

-OOO-

Jack took his time heading back to his vehicle, humans never ceased to amaze him. Here he was convinced that any member of Ianto's family would have an aneurysm, if they were aware of the path that Ianto now chose to walk and yet in reality there was nothing but robust good health, care and kindness waiting for him.

Ianto had to be made aware of this.

As the American climbed into the driving seat, every piece of equipment that he owned sprang to life.

His phone rang.

His wristband tweeted.

His tablet buzzed.

The sirens in the corners of his cab wailed.

The warning hazards running through his side panels whirled and flashed mercilessly.

Something was up.

Choosing his phone above all others, Jack was instantly presented with an image of Ianto.

A seemingly hurt Ianto.

In his office.

What the hell!?

He tried to dial his den, but the line was engaged.

If there had been less traffic, Jack would have used condensed time zones to reach his den. Unfortunately he was now bound by Neanderthal physics, which meant he had to drive back, as quickly as he could.

-OOO-

Tosh was on her knees in an instant.

"Ianto can you hear me? Can you hear me?"

Her first plan of action was to lift his face out of the water. Her second was to check on the bleeding. Her third was to call Owen Harper as not enough of her First Aid training was coming back to her.

After having secured Ianto's airway and tapped his face a few times to check for consciousness, Tosh got on the phone.

"Dr Harper's Out-of-Hours Service: How may I help you?"

"May I speak to the doctor please?"

"Is it an emergency?"

"Yes it is."

"Is that a minor emergency? A major emergency? Or a life or death situation?

"It's life or death. Put me through, he's dying here."

"You said he, so you're not the one in need of assistance. Could I take the name of the patient?"

Tosh changed colour at the other end of the line.

"No you may not! Put me through to Owen before I come down there and staple your tits together!"

There was a shocked silence.

"Putting you through now caller."

There was an audible click and then a tired but welcoming voice full of sleep, answered.

"Hello Dr Harper here."

"Owen. Help me."

"What's up buttercup?" The doc drawled lazily.

"It's Ianto. I think he's half drowned. I'm not sure he's still with us."

Tosh had Owen's undivided attention now. Alert he shifted into professional mode. He sat up.

"Is he breathing?"

"I think so."

"Check."

"Ok. Yes he is, but it's really shallow. What shall I do now?"

"Put him in the recovery position. I'm on my way with an Ambulance."

"Will do." Tosh was ever the Girl Guide.

"One last thing, do you know what happened this time?"

"Not really, but Tow has been a bit down for a few days now."

"I'm concerned so after A & E, I'm going to re-admit him. He needs monitoring."

Tosh winced at her end.

"I was afraid you'd say that."

Owen snorted. "Great minds hun, great minds. See you in a bit."

"Bye." Tosh was now speaking to a disconnected line. She hated to admit it but even under these circumstances, she was still thrilled to be able to see Owen.

Strange.

-OOO-

Jack Harkness eventually made it back to his office, far slower than he would have liked. The scene that met his eyes was one of mild carnage.

Everything was wet. His furniture was in disarray, although his papers were only slightly scruffier than usual.

And there was no Ianto.

Jack was just about to demand an explanation from his suspiciously quiet den, when Tosh (dressed like a mime artist) rushed up to him. Frantic.

"I've been trying to get hold of you. Ianto's had an accident."

"Where is he? Is he alright? Is he badly hurt?"

"He was at the emergency department, but now his doctor has moved him to his facility."

Jack swayed suddenly unsteady on his feet. He took out his handkerchief and wiped his brow, eyes and mouth. This was a lot to take in. He felt weak. Overcome.

"Is he ok?"

"He's what they call "stable" which is better than the alternative I'm told."

"Can I see him?"

"Not tonight, but I'm sure that tomorrow would probably be fine. I'll give you Dr Owen Harper's details. You can arrange things with him." If this career came to an end for Tosh, one in Customer Service surely beckoned.

"Thanks." Jack felt the need to lean against the wall for extra support. The den straightened up to offer up her best. It was the least she could do.

Regardless of what he had been told. Jack was determined to see Ianto tonight, as he took off to start yet another journey, he forgot about his handkerchief.

Tosh did not.

-OOO-

Weary but considerably calmer, Jack made his way to Providence Park.

He had heard about this facility before, but had never been there. He probably should've used a map, but he let his fear, trepidation and eighth sense lead him to the location.

It turned out to be a long journey to make.

Jack swept through the gates and up the impressive but still intimidating driveway, with a confidence that waned with each _step_. He tried to look ahead to the future, but unfortunately he could only deal in hours not minutes. He really should upgrade his package more frequently.

Locating the right wing, Jack found Ianto's floor, then room. He checked that the coast was clear. He closed the door and pulled the supposedly calming green curtains firmly around the bed.

Taking a deep breath Jack approached Ianto's bed slowly. He gazed down at him. Ianto looked so frail; so pale, as though his blood had already been transfused to a more deserving case. Jack stopped to contemplate his next action. This wouldn't be Hospital Visits 101, this would be complicated. Undeterred Jack leant over the comatose patient below him. He took a deep breath, dematerialised and entered Ianto's mind.

He entered his coma.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	11. Chapter 11

(Originally posted 21/07/13)

**A/N I don't even know where to begin. Just brace yourselves.**

-OOO-

It was cold in there.

Jack wrapped his greatcoat around his shoulders and thought of Ianto's warm arms.

It was dark too. Darker than Jack had expected.

He seemed to be at the crossroads of Ianto's soul. Many many routes veered off in all directions, from the spot where he was standing. He was puzzled as to what he was actually standing on, it looked like yellow brick.

Strange.

Jack knew that making the right choice, choosing the right path now was vital, even at this early stage of the proceedings.

He needed guidance.

He looked for Ianto, for some sign of his presence. He needed to taste his essence.

He turned himself into a lighthouse to search for Ianto's aura. He hated to do this. It always caused him pain. His bones melted while his new shape took form. His eyes widened and lengthened and started to revolve. Jack had to think non-migraine thoughts.

All seemed bleak, at first. Jack's search beam was revealing nothing. The low hanging fog was shielding the truth from Jack. Thick, dense, ominous clouds surrounded him. They buffeted him from every side, almost as though they were trying to push him away; as though they were trying to envelope him completely into nothingness. To remove him from this bitter landscape.

Then he thought he felt something.

He sensed rather than saw Ianto.

He wasn't close but he was in here - somewhere.

That was a good sign.

That was a very good sign.

His quest was about to begin.

-O-

Jack had to change back into his original packaging, in order to move. He tried to keep the sound of bones slotting back into place, out of his head.

He placed an eye bath on his personal wish list.

With slightly shaky legs, he made a start. Ianto's heat drew him on.

He turned right. All things right, were right.

Even though he had no evidence to the contrary, Jack felt it prudent to move at a pace. His feet confidently carried him forwards, almost as though they knew the way. His heels clicked loudly against their new brick friends. Each step heralding his approach, piercing the dead-calm with his intent.

After what seemed like miles, Jack Harkness happened across a door.

Correction, a drawbridge.

The huge monolithic structure stood alone.

Completely alone.

There did not appear to be a castle attached to it. Even so, Jack was unable to just walk around it. He tried; but however many steps he'd take to the right or left, the portal seemed to always be directly in front of him.

Strange.

Again, as if he had prior knowledge, the notion of a secret password came to Jack's mind. Not accustomed to thinking along these lines, Jack remembered what Rhiannon had told him.

"_I'd often run past him hidden away in the smallest nook of the house, reading Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys."_

The memory brought a smile to Jack's lips, what would Nancy Drew do? He pondered. The female sleuth would use brains not brawn, that's for sure.

Detection 101: What can I see? An obstruction. Can I get around it? No. Over it? No. Under it? No.

Can I appease it in any way? Make friends with it? Flatter it maybe? Possibly.

Jack recalled a refrain from an old Sunday school song.

"…_.. so high, you can't get over it. So low, you can't get under it. So wide, you can't get 'round it._

_Oh wonderful love."_

He hummed it initially, the drawbridge wobbled. He sang it again, tentatively. The bridge lowered a little bit. He raised his voice and sang with gusto. The gangway completed its maiden voyage. Jack entered at speed, who knew how long his good fortune would last?

Jack had a feeling this would not be the last time he would be tested today.

He was right.

-O-

Jack found himself inside a large interior.

A great hall.

The high vaulted ceiling reminded him of previous school trips to modern art galleries. The Sistine Chapel sprang to mind, viewing that on its opening day had taken his breath away.

As he continued to walk with purpose, he heard a faint rhythmic sound.

_Hurry, hurry, hurry._

Jack knew when to take a hint.

He climbed the stairs to the interior's interior.

He found his own gallery.

Inside the slightly smaller sanctum, Jack discovered a shy exhibition. This hall's walls were decorated with huge hanging picture-frames. All of which were curiously facing the wall.

_Why?_

Jack approached the first frame on his left with some trepidation. It took some effort to turn it. It was dusty. Jack choked, he felt like he was dining on dormant debris. Clearly no-one had looked at these paintings in a long while. Once turned, it took Jack's eyes a few moments to acclimatise to the brushstrokes below. The paint used was bright. Radiant. Mostly yellow shades. The frame itself began to heat up beneath Jack's fingertips. Abruptly he let go, allowing it to bump back against the wall. This jostled the contents.

The recently revealed picture began to move.

Jack took a step back.

Before his eyes was a happy scene, bathed in sunlight. A young boy of about six years, wreathed in smiles played happily with a young mother. The game they played was dressing up. The laughing boy was dressed as a spaceman. Silver foil had been pressed around his body. A colander had been pressed into service as his helmet. The boy strode about the garden which housed them, with wooden jagged steps; a stranger to his new world. A happy visitor. The youthful mum screamed joyously, mock-afraid of the _monster_ in her midst. After much chasing and growling (a pre-requisite for all spacemen surely?), the young alien fell into his mother's arms, willing to trade world domination for a kiss. The painting shook silently with mirth.

Jack smiled too.

This was clearly a happy memory for Ianto, but he had given it detention and made it face the wall, there had to be a reason for this. Why would you not want to remember such love and affection?

Jack pressed on.

-O-

The next picture Jack turned over was very different indeed. The lights of summer had been switched off.

The tableau was dark and dank.

It had been raining.

As before, once the picture was aware it had Jack's full attention, it sprang to life.

There were more people within this frame, which was also situated outside.

They were dressed in black. Tears stained their faces.

Two small children took up much of the foreground. A little girl of around five years, clung to her father's hand. A bigger boy of around eight clung to her's.

It was obvious that they were leaving one ceremony, en route to another. The upset party wound its way down a country lane, towards a cemetery. The surrounding scenery was picturesque.

No-one noticed.

Graveside, prayers were said. Earth was thrown. Final farewells given.

The little girl was lifted into her father's arms. Comfort was administered.

The boy was left to stand alone.

Suddenly as the cedar casket swayed its way to its eventual resting place, a mad dash was made.

The young boy lunged forwards, kicking and biting and scratching the pallbearer nearest to him.

Wailing all the while.

Shock, confusion, disbelief and panic reigned momentarily, before order was restored.

Family members looked aghast. The father looked embarrassed. The boy - distraught. The sun was setting on his world. His heart was bleeding on the outside of his body, with no-one to administer tender loving care to it. His crying reached God's ears.

If ever there was a soul in need of a hug, it was this boy; and yet the only contact he received from his father that day, was a slap.

Tears welled up in Jack's eyes. He reached out a hand to offer delayed comfort, but he was more than a decade too late.

Jack replaced the painting carefully. He was almost too fearful to uncover the next.

Almost.

-O-

With less confidence now, Jack slowly turned the adjacent painting.

This offering was busy. Frantic almost. Movement swirled across it, touching all four corners.

There were workmen, boxes and crates everywhere.

Someone was moving house.

Jack had to bob and weave his head around, to try to catch a glimpse of Ianto. Eventually he found him. Sitting on a back stair that led down to the basement.

Hiding.

Now nine, he was taller, stronger but no less unhappy. While his sister skipped around before him, young Master Jones contemplated the world from underneath his cloak of sorrow.

The world sucked.

Loathe to lend a hand; Ianto wilfully ignored all pleas to help. All his comforting sights and smells were being re-packaged and removed and he wanted no part of it.

Soon the pleas became suggestions, became demands, became orders. Ianto was press-ganged into service.

Pleasure was not evident on his face.

As the sands of time rapidly slipped through his juvenile fingers, Ianto became rushed, stressed. He tried to pack his box with mature care, but his palms refused to grow-up. He was missing things, overlooking things, forgetting. He began to shake with future rage.

Soon it was the witching hour, the time to leave. Ianto was half-led, half-dragged to the outbound departure gate. The hand-luggage stipulation was strict, just one piece allowed. Ianto had chosen a beloved photo of himself and his mum.

It was carried with care; but then he tripped, climbing into the car.

Tripped and let go of his precious cargo.

The wind was quick to step in and help with transportation. It picked the Polaroid up, and carried it aloft,

in the opposite direction.

Ianto scrambled to leave, but was held fast by his father. They had run out of time. They had to leave,

now.

The tears that Jack had been safeguarding, began to slide down his face. For the first time in two hundred years, he had the sniffles. He leant forwards to kiss the sobbing child Ianto in the frame, praying that his kindness would reach him. He then returned this latest painting to its original position.

-O-

Captain Jack Harkness wasn't sure he wanted to continue with his day trip. He would've been quite happy to return his art-pass and proceed directly to the gift-shop, however he knew that would be a cop-out. He was here for a reason.

That reason was Jones, Ianto Jones.

The next frame he turned over was lighter, in all respects. Gentle shards of light fell in what appeared to be a large playroom. It was late afternoon. Various toys littered the floor; castles of books took up space also.

An eleven year old boy played by himself. His mind filled with all of his favourite things, space, travel, aliens and the possibility of other worlds. He was dressed as the greatest space-explorer of all time.

He was happy - almost.

Trainee-happy.

Happy-lite.

Even at this young age, Ianto knew he had to be responsible for his own good moods. So he was.

He lived mainly in the realms of fantasy. Nothing could touch him there.

It was safer.

Calmer.

He was sure of himself there.

Striding through un-chartered galaxies, he was the mighty conqueror. He just longed for a companion.

One day.

Something caught Jack's eye.

Someone was approaching.

Conquistador Jones noticed too.

In a split second he had spirited himself away. Even Jack had trouble spotting him and his eyes hadn't left the canvas.

Ianto's father entered the room. He stopped. He listened. He sniffed the air trying to ascertain whether there had ever been any sign of his son there. He squinted his eyes, distrusting the information they relayed to him.

He left.

Well versed in avoidance, Ianto retained his hidden position for a while.

His father burst into the room again.

This time he growled, but again had to leave empty-handed.

A semi-minute later, Ianto revealed himself.

Jack began to breathe more easily. He watched as Ianto moved towards the open window. He watched as the growing boy looked up wistfully at the sky which held the gathering sunset.

"Wait for me" he heard the boy say "Don't leave without me."

Jack looked on - speechless.

-O-

It was with very mixed feelings that Jack revealed the next picture. Immediately his ears were assaulted.

Shouting, screaming, demands and counter-demands could be heard. An adolescent boy, who hadn't lost the lanky-limbness of youth and a middle-aged man who seemed to be fraying with grey, were locked in an age-old battle of the generations.

Whenever this occurs in the world, the basic premise remains the same.

After watching for a minute or two, Jack Harkness noticed something. This appeared to be the same fight, taking place over and over again.

Jack sought confirmation.

He found it. On the kitchen cabinet was a calendar, with tear-away dates. Every time a new argumentative refrain re-started, a date of the calendar flew away.

It was Groundhog Day.

It was relentless.

It was like watching a fixed moment in time and space.

Neither one was ready to give way.

This could be never-ending.

Jack stepped away. He knew a situation like this could be heart-rending. It could shatter whatever fledging personality was trying to emerge. What was needed was a clear rational head to rectify things. Something neither appeared to possess.

He couldn't watch the damage taking place any longer.

He couldn't watch the ribbons of Ianto's soul, being shredded beyond repair any longer.

He replaced the painting.

-O-

With closed eyes, Jack reached for the next offering. His initial tug yielded nothing. Thinking that he had mis-applied his effort, Jack tugged at the frame again.

Nothing.

Using two hands now, he tried to prise the painting away from the wall.

To no avail.

Maybe this was an unresolved memory. Jack moved on to the next.

The same thing occurred.

Applying every technique known to physics, Jack could not divorce the painting from the wall. There was still one last picture. Jack re-doubled his efforts, it moved,

not one inch.

Now Jack knew that the definition of madness is to do the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. Jack knew he wasn't mad.

He moved on.

-O-

There was no gift-shop, instead as he left the gallery, Jack Harkness found himself walking on what looked and sounded like eggshells. Each fragile flesh-coloured semi-circle, imploded under his feet with a faint melancholy sigh. Upon closer inspection he discovered that he was treading on Ianto's broken dreams.

His other choices.

Possible possibilities.

Literally the paths not chosen.

This caused Jack to run. He didn't want to inflict more pain on the man he sought. He remembered an oath.

_First do no harm._

He aimed to stick to this.

-O-

Without warning Jack found himself outside again. Facing him was a turbulent river. A sulphuric poisonous turbulent river judging by the smell. To test his theory, Jack pulled out a stick of PH chewing gum from the inner pocket of his greatcoat, and threw it into the rapids. It fell below the surface pink and quickly reappeared black. Jack daren't risk swimming across.

He was at an impasse.

"_so wide you can't get 'round it. Oh wonderful love."_

Jack re-grouped and re-thought. W.W.N.D.D?

He studied the river closely. He noticed that it was actually studded with little wooden stepping stones.

A clue surely?

Unfortunately Jack also noted that they were longer than a man's stride apart. He thought again.

Inspiration flashed.

Taking off his greatcoat, he spoke to his fibres. He reminded them of how they were warriors, selected, stitched and trained for war. Sacrifice was woven into their very fabric.

He called them to arms.

To action.

For the greater good.

Having always been a little bit besotted with Jack, they all agreed to his plan.

Stiffening so they resembled a board, Jack used his greatcoat as a plank, so that he could successfully navigate his way across the waters. Step by precariously slippery step. Great devotion married to great faith resulted in great success.

Jack was several steps nearer to his goal.

-O-

He ran ahead straight into a forest. The prolific overgrowth that surrounded him, made for a hot and humid environment. Over hanging branches snagged at his exhausted clothing. Troublesome ground roots teased his faltering feet. He longed to leave.

As he ran he heard a faint rhythmic sound.

_Hurry, hurry, hurry._

He did.

As abruptly as the forest started, it ended, leaving Jack standing on the edge of a precipice. In front of him lay a deep gorge, spanned only by a thinning rope bridge. A bridge that had seen better days. Inching forwards Jack tested the sturdiness of bridge with his toes. It crumbled on contact.

Not necessarily a good sign.

Jack pulled on the guidance rope. Its toughness gave him more hope. Heading back into the forest, Jack looked around for a branch, the straighter the better.

"_so high you can't get over it."_

He found what he was looking for. Returning to the edge of his opportunity, he slowly mounted the guidance rope as though he were a gymnast, using his foraged pole for balance. Jack had always enjoyed displaying his strength through gymnastics; a certain sunny French acrobatics company had previously asked him to join their ranks, but Jack hated to share the limelight. He wondered what had happened to them.

As Jack inched his way along the high-placed rope, which was reminding itself how to unravel; he chanted the tightrope walker's mantra to himself.

_Do not lose faith in yourself._

_Do not lose faith in yourself._

He knew success was really just a case of mind over matter, but his mind kept thinking of falling matters.

Not helpful.

Taking slightly longer than his personal best, Jack reached the other side in one piece. Jumping down nimbly, he turned and kissed his travelling companion, the rope.

"Thank you."

"You're welcome" she replied.

-O-

Twilight was beginning to take over the sky, Jack realised his minutes were numbered. He picked up the pace. Just ahead of him lay an opening to a cave; Jack tentatively stepped inside, checking the flooring was firm first. As soon as he had entered fully the cave closed completely behind him.

Jack was trapped.

Entombed.

Jack pencilled in panic for later, right now he needed to escape.

Running his hands over the cave walls, Jack found a solution. There appeared to be a hidden door, practically rusted shut. Jack pushed. It refused to budge.

He tried again.

Same thing.

He tried one last time, with all the strength he could muster. This time the door swivelled around, with a speed that took Jack by surprise.

He stumbled.

He tripped.

He fell over his own feet and rolled down the incline, which the other side of the door had been hiding from him.

He landed in an ungracious heap on the ground. He spat out some dirt that had thought his mouth, was as good as any place to relocate.

Dusting himself down and looking ahead into the distance, Jack thought he saw the glimmer of bright lights.

A beacon maybe?

As he walked towards them, he heard a faint rhythmic sound.

_Hurry, hurry, hurry._

So he did.

He soon discovered that his _beacon_ was actually an entire field, ablaze.

Correction: an entire assault course on a field ablaze.

It took a second or two for all the chambers of his brain to agree that this was actually the case.

"_so low you can't get under it."_

His former training quickly came to the fore. Jack dropped to the ground and scrambled under the burning barbed wire that lay in front of him. Progress was unsteady and slow, Jack's greatcoat caught frequently on the moxibustion smouldering above him. He tried not to think of the last time he was on his hands and knees.

Breathing was becoming a bit of a problem. Jack's nostrils filled with the burnt-scented aroma of his clothing. He knew he had back-up gills but he really only wanted to pull these out, in an absolute emergency.

Soon, but not yet.

He made short work of the footwork challenge. Rubber tyres spiked with glass only annoyed his socks.

Gathering speed, he swung gracefully along the monkey bars before vaulting over his final obstacle, the wall.

The wall that had him falling, flailing into an unexpected reservoir. Splashing down into the water Jack bobbed up quickly, buoyed up by a notion that something was wrong. Very wrong.

Treading water Jack looked about him. The water looked resigned rather than calm. The levels were still rising, fed by several standpipes just out of reach.

That's when Jack heard it.

Overlapping whispers.

Each insistent on their individual message.

_I'm worthless._

_I'm dirty._

_I'm shameful._

_I don't matter._

_I'm undeserving._

_I've no right to be here._

Jack turned his head in alarm. These incantations were gushing forth from the taps.

He was swimming in Ianto's internal lake of negativity.

Shaken and stirred, Jack paddled over to the pipes. He started to turn them off. It was tough; some of these taps had been stuck in this position for years.

Jack fought hard to twist these taps to his will. He felt that he was fighting more than metal.

Despite his best efforts he only managed to shut off four pipes.

He had been a help but not the solution.

Immediately the waters started to drain away. Jack was able to make out the causeway that lay beneath. He followed it, towards the light. It wasn't long before he spotted another figure ahead of him. Someone else who seemed intent on walking towards the light.

Ianto.

Jack had a flashback.

_I've no right to be here._

"IANTO STOP!"

Ianto continued to move forward, as though sleep-walking.

"Ianto, you don't have to do this. This doesn't have to be the end. Please stop."

Ianto wavered for the first time. Considering.

Jack sensed a glimmer of hope. He grabbed at it.

"I know that you believe all is lost Yan, but it's not. Today is just a dark day, not the end of all days. People would miss you if you were gone. Your sister, she loves you very much Ianto. She loves the true you, she really does. She told me to tell you that. What would she do without her big brother? Tosh would be devastated if you left her. You're her talisman, you bring her comfort; and I … I'd miss you too, so very much. So think again, if you only do one thing today Ianto Jones, follow me.

I've come to take you home."

Unused to such searing honesty, Ianto took a step towards Jack. He wanted to believe his ears, but he was afraid to trust his heart.

Jack turned on his heel and walked towards real world.

Ianto silently followed, completing the first truly brave action of his life.

As he walked Jack canted his own mantra for Ianto's benefit.

"You're charming.

You're cherished.

You're worthy.

You're adorable.

You're magnificent.

You're of value."

Jack wasn't sure if Ianto was aware of his words, but he hoped that an echo may linger.

Finally Jack reached the edge of consciousness, he stopped.

He was exhausted, he dripped with sweat and elation. His greatcoat was in tatters but he didn't care.

He had Ianto.

He had his man.

He cautiously clicked his heels three times, stepped out of Ianto's coma and took a seat at his bedside.

He tried to calm his breathing. He was still panting haphazardly. Still trying to co-ordinate all his hearts into one single rhythm.

Reaching over he attempted to embed his lips into Ianto's cool temple.

"Don't ever leave me again."

A tear came to rest in the inner corner of his eye.

Contained within it was the elixir of fifty-first century life. It splashed down onto Ianto's right eyelid.

It crept inside.

Jack shook as he watched Ianto slowly change colour. The beeps on the machine beside him became louder, stronger, more determined, more insistent.

He thought he saw movement, a barely perceptible flicker of a hand.

Sirens went off.

Doctors, nurses and attendants suddenly flooded the room.

Jack was washed aside.

Flattened by a whirlpool of activity.

His needs forgotten.

Anxious faces followed monitors. Drips were re-set. Tubes were re-arranged. The collective murmur of voices changed key.

Hope sang out - quietly.

Despite his best efforts, Jack was unceremoniously ushered from the room. He was dumped in the family room, like rubbish in a bin. Dismissed and discarded.

Ever the optimist, Jack reasoned that Ianto's prognosis must've improved; otherwise they would not require medical privacy.

This thought provided a soothing balm to the wound of his current septic-like emotions.

Miffed and relieved, Jack reluctantly made his way home.

-OOO-

**A/N2 W.W.N.D.D? = What Would Nancy Drew Do?**

**A/N3 I have to apologise for the lateness of this chapter, RL has been kicking me from all sides recently and my time available for writing all but disappeared. However I promise you that the next chapter will be with you, much much sooner. Thanks for your support.**

**Comments are always appreciated**


	12. Chapter 12

(Originally posted 03/08/13)

**A/N This chapter contains scenes of non-consensual violence.**

-OOO-

Jack maintained a respectable distance from his man. Not only was this wise, it was the only course of action he could take in the present circumstances. Ianto had become a medical celebrity of sorts. It was almost unheard of, that someone that close to restaurant death, could peruse the menu, decide that they were allergic to everything on it and march unscathed out of there.

He had fans.

An entourage.

Jack watched from his vantage point. He monitored the situation. He made a note of every single visitor medicinal or otherwise.

He made friends with Dr Harper - from afar.

Family was forbidden.

Friends even more so.

He bided his time.

-O-

Never one to follow the rules completely, after a fortnight Jack Harkness began his nightly rounds. Under the cover of darkness and lethargy, he slipped into Ianto's room. The student nurse who was supposed to be attending him, was instead engrossed in her text-book, mid-terms were coming up. Jack froze her reality. He would not disturb her and she would be unaware of him.

Ianto lay still.

Very still.

Only the rhythmic rasp of the ventilator made a sound. The obtrusive tube stretched Ianto's gullet, painfully providing the pure air that he desperately needed. Jack gently touched his throat, reducing the girth of the tube, providing the comfort that Ianto desperately needed.

"Hey you" Jack threaded his fingers through Ianto's damp fringe, as he said this. He knew that Ianto could hear him; he just wasn't sure which room he was currently in. He drew the seat that he had taken, nearer to the sickbed.

"How are you holding up fella? Good?" Jack tried to keep his tone light and up-beat, but it was harder than he'd thought it would be.

"Don't think this is a social call. I'm just here to let you know that your annual leave is almost up. We're all missing you Yan; no-one makes coffee like you do."

Jack forced a smile. No-one was convinced.

"On a more selfish note, my room is a tip; it could use a bit of Iantoing, if you know what I mean."

Still Ianto selfishly slept.

Jack looked on. Each stare stabbed at his hearts.

"Well I'll just let you mull it over. I'll go." Jack rose, untypically uncertain what to do next. He ducked down again, closing in on Ianto's nearest ear. "I'm only letting you go now, because I need you to come back to me."

He actually blushed feeling unusually adolescent again.

As Jack departed he left a leaving gift, he drenched the room in strength.

-O-

Every subsequent night followed a familiar pattern. After his unscheduled visit, Jack left an attribute he felt Ianto may need.

Fortitude.

Bravery.

Confidence.

Ability.

-O-

Jack Harkness was in luck, on this night he and Ianto Jones were truly alone. No need to nudge nature to one side. Embolden Jack climbed onto Ianto's cot in celebration.

"Alone at last, what am I going to do with you now?" He said making himself comfortable. Ianto's eyelids flickered.

"How about we go on a date? Someplace nice? A meal? Italian maybe?" Jack chuckled at his own joke, fluffing the pillow they both shared.

"Or we could just stay in and chat; I know how shy you are. What do you think?"

Ianto slowly turned his head towards Jack. The effort made him sweat.

"Okay" he gutturally gasped.

-OOO-

"_How about we go on a date? Someplace nice? A meal? Italian maybe?"_

These words struck a chord in Ianto, not just because he was starving; no he seemed to remember that in the dim and distant past, he was missing a date with a certain American.

"Sounds gggr great." he almost choked. Never before had speech hurt so much. He felt blocked, stymied.

Jack's face rose into view. Ianto couldn't quite read the expression upon it. Relief? Anxiety? Shock? Pleasure?

"Ssshh Yan sssh. Don't try to speak. Just swallow and yawn, swallow and yawn. I've got this." Staff nurse Harkness softly removed the breathing tube from Ianto's windpipe. Ianto spluttered out five weeks of frustration from within him.

"Wait there. I'll be back." Quickly planting a peck on Ianto's dry coarse lips Jack made a swift exit from the cubicle. He returned with a plastic jug full of water, iced and sliced for the Welshman's benefit.

"Here, take a sip" Jack held a beaker to Ianto's mouth. At this angle, most actually slipped down Ianto's neck. He felt Jack's warm firm tongue, lap up the moist damage. Memory bells rang.

"Why am I, am I here?"

"You had an accident Yan, but you're on the mend now."

Even though it hurt, Ianto craned his head even more, so that he could get a good look at his care attendant. He fully took in the sight of his boss. It was the first time he had seen him looking dishevelled. He kind of liked it. He looked good in his civvies, but something was missing. Where was his greatcoat?

"No c c coat?"

Jack smirked, trust Ianto to notice. "It's at the cleaners, don't you worry your pretty little head about it."

Ianto huffed "Not pretty."

"Let me be the judge of that."

"Thirsty."

"Here have some more." Jack held the beaker with more care this time. Ianto observed Jack's behaviour carefully. What had he done to deserve this? Surely this was more than a bump on the head warranted?

He waited for the other shoe to drop.

Lips quenched Ianto turned his attention away from Jack and back to his room.

It was quite spacious, considering.

It was quite calming.

It was quite…familiar.

"…Been before."

"What was that Yan?"

"I've been here before."

"Really when?"

Ianto flinched involuntarily in response to the question. He would have curled into the foetal position, if Jack hadn't have been taking up all the available space.

"D dd doesn't matter."

"Ianto?"

"It really doesn't matter now. It's over with. Finished."

"Tell me."

"Huh?"

"Tell me Yan."

Ianto looked directly into Jack's beseeching face, and felt something within him give way. He shifted. He'd shifted.

He felt something almost new. A feeling that he hadn't experienced for the longest time.

Trust.

Ianto squirmed. "My background has background; you might want to leave at the adverts."

Jack now smiled. "I've got a ringside seat and popcorn, what more could I want?

It was Ianto's turn to smile, he topped up with one last glance at Jack's encouraging eyes before he went on his travels, to a foreign land, his past.

-O-

_Ianto was the first to concede that he had been a strange little boy. "My mother indulged me where the rest of the world would not. She was wonderful, but died when I was very young, before I'd had my fill of her. I know I shouldn't but I still miss her everyday."_

Her love endures Ianto.

"_It was rough afterwards, at home. Dad and I just didn't seem to click. We hadn't before, but now our buffer was gone. I escaped every way possible I could. Physically and mentally. I lived in the closet mainly, the one in my head. My fantasies kept me sane, well they did with a little help from Nancy Drew. _

_I wanted to be anywhere but there._

_I knew he wanted that too._

_I tiptoed through my days. I spent the first seventeen years of my life keeping my fingers-crossed. It was too dangerous to unravel me in plain sight._

_Do you know what it__'__s like to have to constantly mind your p__'__s and q__'__s so much, that you forget that the rest of the alphabet exists?_

_I became my own best friend. I stayed in a lot, watching Bond films. He called me Little Miss Freeview._

_But I'd never said."_

I'd have given you the words babe.

"_I became quietly rebellious. I felt the world owed me something, although at the time I wasn't entirely sure what. I began to utilise the five fingered discount when out and about. For the first time in my life I felt bold and strong._

_I became daring._

_I became audacious._

_Reckless._

_I also became a statistic. I got caught."_

"Oh no"- Jack moved his hand to Ianto's stomach and quietly rubbed him there.

"_It all happened so quickly, one minute I was congratulating myself on a job well done, the next I was filling the hands of a local security guard. He was a jobs-worth, although to be fair I was his job._

_He handed me over to the Police, only then did I realise that this was serious."_

Ianto stopped talking. His eyes clouded over. He shook slightly. Almost without thinking, he reached for Jack's hand. It was unlike Ianto to seek comfort. Jack gave freely of himself.

"_I was taken. Whisked away to the statutory building. I was processed. Allowed my one phone call."_

Ianto closed his eyes at this point.

"_I called him. Called twice as I was underage. Called and pleaded with him. He listened, he did, I could hear him breathing. He listened and then ignored my pleas. Said it served me right and that it would be character building. He put the phone down on me. _

_Twice."_

"Oh Yan."

Ianto took another sip of water. Jack gave him a fortifying hug.

"_I was taken to a cell. I had no idea how long I'd be there, two to three hours? Overnight? My fate lay in his hands and they were busy elsewhere._

_I had no idea what was in store._

_I soon found out._

_After what felt like hours a sergeant came into see me, with a tray full of food. I wasn't hungry but he insisted I eat…something._

_I tried being polite. Said I couldn't manage a thing; but he persisted. Mentioned that I may need an incentive to swallow. He stroked my cheek. He smeared my lips with gravy. He kissed me._

_I was shocked. Confused. Scared._

_I backed away; made another wall my home, but he knew the layout of new abode better than me. _

_He was on me instantly. Had my hands locked behind my back before I remembered where they lived._

_He was forceful._

_Brutal._

_His huge muscular hands manipulated me, like I was a toy._

_He invaded everywhere. Grabbing. Grasping. Twisting. Pinching. Clothing became undone. I was on my knees before I knew it. This is where he wanted me, apparently."_

Jack squeezed Ianto's hand hard. He hardly noticed.

Lost in his reverie he continued.

"_He was ready, had been for a while. He bumped himself against my lips, seeking entry. I was crying. Tears splashed down. I tasted salt._

_Fuck, no, no._

_Gerroff me. Get away._

_I tried to shuffle away, but he held me still._

_I won't do it again I promise._

_Help me."_

Jack recognised the script. A shiver ran through him.

"_No help came. He just helped himself to me. He was rough. Scratched the roof of my mouth. The cut irritated me for days._

_When he was done, he threw me away like a used tissue."_

Jack tried not to clench his soul.

"_I'd like to say that this was a one-off; but because of the Bank Holiday, he was my liquid lunch for the next two days."_

"Ianto no!"

A tear dropped from Ianto's eye.

"_Don't mind me, I always cry in a minor key."_

"You shouldn't have to."

"_I know, but it's okay now. It can't hurt me anymore. It's all been archived. It's like a picture I never look at. There but lifeless._

_Finally, they had to let me go, on the Tuesday. 72 hours was the maximum they could hold me. I tore home and tore into my dad. Everything I had been holding back for years came flooding out._

_It was ugly._

_I left then and there._

_Left home._

_Left school._

_Left my life._

_I started the year that never was."_

"You were only a kid Yan, how did you survive?"

Ianto looked away.

"_It's best not to ask. Let's just say I had acquired a new skill."_

"I wish I had known you then, I could've protected you."

Ianto turned his head back and gave a wan quarter-smile.

"_It wouldn't have made any difference, I wouldn't have let you. I was raging, tinged with fire. Black smoke filled my head. I'd seared off all my emotions. I just saw nothing. I heard nothing. I felt even less."_

Jack shook his head; he couldn't help but feel that Ianto had been hardwired for hardship.

-O-

"_I got by, it wasn't pretty, needs must. I found out my dad had died. As much as I hated him, I knew I had to take care of him. I went home. For good. It was a relief to see my sister again._

_I slotted back into my old life. Became a schoolboy again. Acquired merit badges._

_I remained on an even keel for a few years after that. I collected everything a young man should have; but I was curious, too afraid to listen to the thoughts that licked around the edges of my brain. Unsure of how to feed my constant craving._

_Too afraid of what might happen._

_I made a discovery, a new club in town. The clientele, mainly men, seemed to be on cloud nine. I wanted to float up there too. I found a reason to walk by, late at night, frequently. Sometimes if I was feeling brave, I'd actually touch the building, just to have some sort of connection. It's sad I know."_

Baby-steps are fine darling.

"_One night, the last night, I was absent-mindedly stroking the back door, I wasn't paying attention. I didn't hear them. Seemingly out of nowhere they pounced._

_They called me faggot, poof and worse._

_They circled me, pushing, shoving me from one to another_

_Then they made contact. Heavily with their fists. Repeatedly."_

Fresh tears flowed down Ianto's face. Jack pulled him closer and held him for all he was worth.

Ianto shrugged himself free.

"_No that's not it. You don't get it. I was desperate. Sick. I welcomed it. I was leaning into their blows._

_Who does that?_

_I was so dehydrated that their punches felt like a long cool drink. I really did think anything was better than nothing. It was madness. Certifiable._

_Stay away from me Jack. _

_I'm not normal."_

Then the rains truly came. Huge sobs wracked Ianto's diminished frame. Jack did his best to stem the flow.

After a while Ianto was spent. Shuddering like a small child, he went on.

"_M mm my head and bbbody were wrrrecked. I stumbled home via the off-licence. I stayed indoors for days._

_Drinking._

_Crying._

_Trying to come to terms with what had just happened. I'd read about people like me before. Freaks. I knew what I had to do._

_I went out and brought some flammable friends. Poured them around the house and struck a deal._

_My house went up like a tinderbox. With me in it. _

_Years of hoarding raced towards the flames. A marriage made in a match-box. Everyone was happy."_

Jack released a wordless howl. He understood now why he had been unable to see these memories.

"_I was ready to go. I was. I thought the world would be a better place because of it too; but Tosh raised the alarm, saved my life. That's how I ended up here, in this very room. My body and mind was painstakingly pieced back together. _

_I wasn't grateful, initially. I gave Dr Harper a hard time, still do."_

Ianto gave his first full smile.

"_When I got out, things were still tough. The prize in my collection said goodbye to me. Partly unhinged was still too unhinged for her, but I coped. Things aren't perfect now by any means…." _

Ianto dipped his lashes away from Jack's.

"…_but I'm beginning to feel more confident. Capable._

_These words keep rolling around inside my head, telling me to have faith._

_It's weird, for once I can't think of a reason to dismiss them."_

-OOO-

Jack could see the toll opening up had had on Ianto. He could barely keep his eyes open. He let him drift back to sleep, pleased that it was being helpful and restorative.

The American felt as though he had just been given a guided tour, through the maze that is Ianto Jones.

He knew that he was privileged, honoured. He also knew that the time would come, when he would have to be equally courageous.

Was he prepared for that?

It was a question for another day.

Taking one last look at his charge, Jack slid quietly from his resting place. Kissing Ianto affectionately on his forehead, Jack Harkness made to leave.

Not before drenching the room in tranquillity.

-OOO-

**Comments are always appreciated**


	13. Chapter 13

(Originally posted 14/08/13)

**A/N This chapter is dedicated to Buddieswithbilis, who redirected the Nile. Many thanks.**

-OOO-

"How's he doing?"

"Better."

"I'm going to need more than that Owen, Jeez."

"Better than before."

"Your bedside manner could really do with some work." Tosh was displaying rare irritation with her long-term friend.

"Well you know how it is, patient confidentiality and all that jazz."

"You wouldn't have this particular patient if it wasn't for me."

"Tis true, but that doesn't change de rules."

Tosh sighed heavily, letting her head flop back against the wall of the closet on the tenth floor, that she had retreated to (she had needed privacy for this call); images of blood and stones came to mind.

Looking around himself Owen made a quick judgement call.

"Listen Ianto's progressing better than we could have ever expected."

"Oh good, that's good."

"He's fully conscious now and engaging with all staff."

"Engaging. Engaging is good."

Owen gave a grunt.

"Too good, he's becoming a right bolshy git, if I'm to be honest. If he wasn't a friend I'd deck 'im."

Tosh burst out laughing at this piece of news.

"What was it I was saying about your bedside manner?"

"Yeah yeah, no need to sound so smug Missy."

Tosh was quick to notice this term of endearment. She would file it away and recall it later, at her leisure.

"Have you any idea on his E.T.A. back at work yet?"

"It's hard to say. I'd toss his arse out tomorrow; but from a medical point of view, he's probably not ready to roll for a few weeks yet."

"Oh I see, well at least there is an exit on the horizon. That's something I suppose." Tosh paused purposely before she continued. "I've got some good news for you too."

"Well spit it out ole girl, time and money blah blah blah."

"I've had Jack."

"You've had Jack?"

Tosh blushed furiously, even though she knew she couldn't be seen. "Not him personally, obviously, I've had his essence in my hand."

"I'm not sure I want to know. What you do in your private life is…"

"Owen, honestly sometimes you can be such a pain. I mean that I've had a sample of his DNA, a handkerchief in my hand and handbag for weeks now."

"That's brilliant."

"I know. I forgot I had it, what with Ianto and the hospital and the like. It slipped my mind."

Owen chewed the side of his lip. He hated himself for doing this, but he had to ask.

"You, you didn't have to compromise yourself to get it did you?" Even before the words had left his lips, he knew how needy they sounded. He hoped Tosh wouldn't spot this.

He'd hoped in vain.

The sides of Tosh's mouth raised themselves quickly in the tiniest flash of joy. Did he care? Like really care? She decided to push the envelope.

"It was a tough job but someone had to do it."

"Tosh no!"

Tosh held her laughter in for all of two seconds. "No of course not ninny. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time." Tosh actually heard Owen exhale with relief. This was another memory for the vaults. "So what now?"

"What now? You need to get your tidy self over here as quickly as possible Missy. I've got those that can waiting."

"Is tonight too late?"

"What's wrong with now?"

"I'm on my way."

Unbeknownst to each other, both had clasped their phones to their chests and had smiled inanely after ending their call. Symmetry was beginning to assert itself. The stars were beginning to align.

-OOO-

The door was already ajar, but that didn't stop it from announcing Jack's arrival noisily. Ianto turned his head towards it instantly, movement in general now greatly improved.

Their eyes locked. An eyebrow was raised. A smile was beamed into the room, intoxicating all those within a fifty metre radius. Ianto soaked up its healing rays.

"You're late."

"Only just, Yan"

"I was waiting."

"I'm here now."

"I thought you'd forgotten me."

"Never."

"Thought that I was just a blip in time for you. Something on your to-do-list that needs to be ticked off."

"Never ever." Jack assured as he climbed on to the bed, claiming his usual position.

"Er humm. Shoes Captain, don't make me tell you again." The ever-present nurse chided Jack, for his forbidden footwear.

"Sorry Matron." Jack inched his leather soles away from his leather soles.

"It's Sister," she corrected as she moved towards the charts that needed updating.

"Yes Ma'am." Jack didn't want make waves. This particular medical marvel had been an ally from the start, allowing Jack to come and go as he pleased, even letting him stay overnight, as long as he was gone before the third cock crowed. Before the morning rounds were made.

Ianto and he were really appreciative of this.

"You're forgiven." Ianto murmured in a small voice, realising deep down that he was being silly. Jack wanted to be by his side, he was sure of it.

A voice in his head, told him so.

Snuggling down beside his beau, Jack gently moved Ianto's fringe away from his eyes. He didn't want any part of his face obscured from him.

"How are you today?"

"Bored and…" Ianto tried to whisper the next word into Jack's ear "...horny."

Jack's eyebrows shot up.

"My my Mr Jones you must be feeling better."

"I'd rather be feeling you."

"Much much better I see."

A small polite but nevertheless pointed cough was heard behind them, indicating that Ianto had failed in his attempt to whisper. Jack moved his hand and deliciously, slowly traced ever widening silent circles on Ianto's torso. He successfully lowered his voice.

"Maybe this will help baby."

"Mmm too high."

"How about now?" Jack lowered his hand.

"Keep going."

"Now?"

Ianto threw his head back, pressed down into his pillow and raised his stretched-out chest towards the sky.

"Almost."

"Captain Jack…" The Sister cut in.

Jack immediately repositioned his hand, to a more family-viewing friendly spot on Ianto's body.

"Would you like to administer Mr Jones meds? He responds so well to you."

"It would be my pleasure. What's on the menu today?"

"Two of the red, one of the blue."

"Two of the red, one of the blue." Both Ianto and the nurse revealed the same dinner-time dish.

Jack climbed down from the bed and collected his miniscule meal-tray, from his medical supervisor.

"Open wide babe."

Ianto did as he was bid.

Amusement and fire played kiss-chase around his pupils. He made a point of swirling his tongue around the tips of Jack's fingers, every time they entered his mouth.

The air crackled with the un-moaned moans, he was forced to keep to himself.

As consolation Jack gave him an Eskimo kiss, for finishing all of his _food._

"Where's my dessert?" Ianto purred as Jack slip-slided across the room in his socks, to hand the tray back.

"That comes later. You need to digest your first course first."

"That I can do. I'm good at digesting things," Ianto just couldn't help himself. Jack was reaching parts of him that had been dormant for weeks.

Open mouthed Jack released a deep-throated chuckle. He was sorely tempted to put real-time on pause and claim his man right then and there.

He didn't.

"What has come over you?" He asked in mock admonishment, as he regained his original position.

"Nothing yet."

"Ianto."

"I know, I'm ravenous, I feel as though I've been on a diet."

Jack laughed and stroked his cheek. "It's fine. I'm rather enjoying this insatiable Sally side of you."

"You say that now but I aim to wear you out."

"Is that so?"

"It is. I'm thinking of making a list."

"Of?"

"All the things I've ever wanted to do."

"Wow that sounds like fighting talk."

"It is. You'd better brace yourself."

"I'm willing to put in the training if you are."

"I'm going to train you."

"To?"

"Do whatever I demand."

"Demands? There'll be demands?" Jack's amusement switched over to curious mode.

"Yup and scripts, role-play and accessories."

"You've given this quite a bit of thought, it seems."

"Just while I was waiting." Ianto shot Jack a cheeky grin.

"Oh so this train of thought is my fault is it?"

"Absolutely. It's your fault for waking me up."

Jack rolled over on top of Ianto. He cupped his crown. He'd stopped playing now.

"Did I really wake you up Yan?"

"Yes." Ianto placed his words directly on to Jack lips. Time slowed down. He felt the urge to trust his instincts. "I felt nothing before you."

"Really?"

"I was lost. I didn't know how to be."

"Oh Yan."

"You were the first person whose voluntary touch I liked." Ianto's piecing blue eyes, pieced Jack's own.

"Yours were the first kisses I longed for. The first tongue I wanted to possess."

As if on cue Jack's tongue ghosted Ianto's lips, leaving behind a trail of promises he was determined to keep.

"Never before Yan. I swear, never have I felt anything like this. You don't know how long I've been searching for someone like you."

Fire consumed them both. Shy teasing; testing words became deep sensuous sentences. Their lips followed their words; they made a pact never to part.

Jack pressed his man down to the depth of his thin medicinal-appointed mattress.

Ianto accommodated him as best he could. It was difficult but not impossible. Like two palms pressed together, they clung in prayer. Each offering up thanks that the other existed.

Jack communed with the gods that he knew. He placed a plea bargain with all of them, just to gain some longevity with this wonderful man beneath him.

Ianto offered up his soul too, in return for some heart-stopping sensuality-now.

He was losing his head. He had already let go of his manners.

"Jack, please. …"

"Please?"

"Take me."

"Yan I…"

"JUST FUCK ME RAW NOW DAMMIT!"

An almighty crash captured the windswept pair's attention.

Heads swivelled.

"I'm so sorry." The Sister bent down to retrieve her tray of dropped instruments. Dishevelled but decent, Jack leapt down to offer her a hand. Pink of cheek and flustered of manner she stammered out her apology. "I I I must h have o o over l l loaded it. It j j just slipped f f from my f f fingers."

"No worries. Here let me help. Where would like these put?

Snapping back into work-mode the Sister quickly composed herself.

"They are contaminated now. Here leave them in this container. I'll go and fetch a new sterile batch. I'll..." She looked up quickly at Jack and then over at Ianto. "… leave you two alone for a moment."

With Nun like efficiency she pivoted on her soundless black heels and marched out of the room, making sure she firmly shut the door behind her.

There was silence.

Then there was laughter.

"Oh my goodness, I think you scared her."

"Me scare her, I think she was shocked you remembered words like that. You're meant to be a sick man."

Jack actually bent over double, to try to relieve the pain his sides were now inflicting on him.

Ianto and his eyes got through two tissues.

Jack recovered first.

"Now that we're alone, what shall we do? I feel we ought to make the most of it."

The Welshman pouted.

"Does that mean that we won't continue doing what we've been doing?"

"Do you want to continue?" Jack inquired.

Ianto held his gaze and nodded his head slowly.

The American smirked.

"Ok sir, your wish is my command." He clamoured into their crib again. "Now where were we?"

"We're starting a new one today."

"Oh yes, so we are." Jack twisted around and retrieved his battered guest from his bag. "Are you sitting comfortably babe? Good, then I shall begin." Before he did so, Jack ducked down and delicately planted a baby-kiss on Ianto's patient lips.

He cleared his throat dramatically.

"Chapter One. Page One.

_It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."_

**-OOO-**

**Comments are always appreciated**


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